To do today

• Love my cat shower 
•  face mask 
•  go buy liquor for party 
• 151, coconut rum
• go buy snacks for party
• tooth picks
• bbq sauce
• meatballs
• veggies
• chips 
• dip
• soda
• juice
• juice for liquor
•  go buy chicken and cauliflower for dinner
• marinate chicken
• go get hair and makeup at savannah's
• Change into dress

Prank

so there is 2 main  reasons that you prank someone; The first being to make someone laugh and the second one to hurt someone’s feelings.

 An example of the first: I was planing on pranking Jimmie by wearing something sexy and getting him to follow me to the bedroom...  only for him to discover me wearing a super funny cartoon head.

 Well Jimmie  decided to play a prank. Yesterday he told me that he had a surprise waiting for me from his work. He told Savannah what it was but not me. I went out after work, so when I came home he was asleep. But I saw an iMac computer box in the living room...  according to Savannah he  had told her that if a customer leaves a product at his store for more than 90 days then an employee can take it home.

Sounded too good to be true... but I had a friggin iMac in front of me...

So I got excited.

I want a desktop to do my writing on. He knows this, And the computer was big enough to keep in the room kind of like a tv - something that I think would help me to have more alone time with him. Which would also mean I wouldn’t have to buy a tv.

So I got hella excited.

Only to discover today that the box was empty. He said something about wanting to trick Cory, he even put weights in the box. Only Cory didn’t get tricked - I did.

I don’t get it. I don’t see how this prank would make someone laugh... if he pranked Cory, it wouldn’t have been funny. As it stands I got pranked and I don’t find it very funny.

In fact I’m disappointed.

And if the prank wasn’t done to make someone laugh... then what? I don’t think he was setting out to hurt anyone... but I don’t see the point if the prank.

Maybe it’s because he and I aren’t on the same page anymore. But I don’t get it and it intact only made me feel worse about how things are going.

car insurance

• geico quote 
• 145 monthly
•  call back 8/29
• Statefarm
• ____ monthly
• USAA
• _____ monthly

for full coverage... go with whats cheaper

vacation ideas

3 day trip to Atlantis resort = way to fucking expensive. like 3 times as much as a 5 day cruise.

cruise....... = jimmie says no.

like. what is there to do?

Hypothetical 3 day vacation June1-3

- Disney World....

3 day tickets to all 4 parks and a water park or other fun activity.
$850 after tax. (not including food or hotel. )
+ 100$ of food each day.
+100
+100
+100$for hotel (2 nights)
+100$ for hotel
-----------------------
1,350$

jesus.


- Universal? .... looks promising. must look closer to date though...

Bush Gardens is a day trip :/

- Greece?

• flight + hotel for 2: 
• archeological tour of akrotiri with wine tasting and black sand beaches - 50$ per person
• Sanatori sunset cruise with dinner (visit volcanoe, diving/swimming in hot springs, buffet dinner) - 86 per person
• Morning Boat Tour (see volcano, then hotsprings)
• Private Wine Tour 115$

- Washington, DC

more ideas and updates to come

I thought wrong.

i thought today would be better.

It started out better.

I had begrudging plans to try to talk about how I’m feeling.

I was looking forward to that  guaranteed time with him.

But no.

Now I’m back at square fucking one.

This must be how the cats felt.... no wonder they pissed on my bed all the time.

Late night thoughts part 2.

so I’m in a not pleasant bipolar episode that has been going on since Monday.

And it all really boils down to missing my boyfriend.

I just posted a blog post that explains how I’m feeling and why, explains my behaviors, and the thoughts that spring forward from all of this. Hence the part 2 title.

Except I took it down.

Words are so much easier to do when written. I will always be able to write my feelings better than speaking them. But the truth that came out in those words can be hurtful. I can’t say them and I honestly don’t know if I can share them even written.

I feel once they are out I will regret them, even if true. Especially if this passes.

I hate censoring. I’ve always said that I wouldn’t censor my blog - my safe place to voice my thoughts and read them back to myself (probably my healthiest coping mechanism). But I do. Often.

I will end this post with the same words however:

Gods above let this get better.
Because this hurts. And it’s making me a bitch.

Good one

You know you’ve found a good one when he’s compassionate enough to stop and save a baby deer.

I’m missing everything.

Two hours a day hurts more than if I just didn’t see him at all.

It feels exactly like I thought it would.


Now I’m sitting alone in my car, have been for the past hour, trying to force myself to eat something and go back. I have to help unpack.

I’m so hungry but the thought of eating makes me sick.

What the fuck am I doing?