Grad school Comparison~

i found a database that shows me every MFA program in the country for MFA in Creative writing. I'm going to look by state and then find the ones that allow genre/popular fiction. I am only going to include those that are fully funded. I have sent emails to all  that do not clearly state wether or not they allow genre fiction.

"Hello, 

I was curious as to what the stand point of your MFA in creative writing has on genre/popular fiction applicants?

thank you!

Lisa Sawyer"

i will contact the schools through a new email.

emailforgradschools@gmail.com --> same password.

Bold = accepts gere/popular fiction





Arizona

•  University of Arizona
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_arizona
• Arizona State University
•  https://www.pw.org/content/arizona_state_university
• allows genre? --> ???

California

• Chapman University
• https://www.pw.org/content/chapman_university
• offers limited number of full funding packages
• University of California, Irvine
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_california_irvine
• University of California, Riverside
•  https://www.pw.org/content/university_of_california_riverside
•  Mills College
• https://www.pw.org/mfa/mills_college
• allow genre??? --> yes, i think???? i emailed,

Colorado

•  Naropa University, Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics
• https://www.pw.org/content/naropa_university_jack_kerouac_school_disembodied_poetics
• offers 3 fully funded packages, but also has scholarships that can stack?
• THIS ONE SEEMS COOL
• possibly allows genre....---> they have to contact me first before i can ask.

Florida

• University of Florida
• serious inquiry
• "We don’t believe in any particular school of writing; we have no wish to foster or found one" id say thats a YES to genre fiction!
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_florida_0

Georgia

• Georgia College & State University
• https://www.pw.org/content/georgia_college_state_university
• allows genre? --> ???

Indiana 

• Purdue University 
• https://www.pw.org/content/purdue_university
• yes/no --> ??
• University of Notre Dame
•  https://www.pw.org/content/university_notre_dame

Iowa

• University of Iowa Writers’ Workshop
•  https://www.pw.org/content/university_iowa_writers’_workshop

Louisiana

• Louisiana State University
• https://www.pw.org/content/louisiana_state_university
• genre?

Maryland

• University of Maryland
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_maryland
• genre fiction?

Massachusetts

• University of Massachusetts  
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_massachusetts_boston_0

Michigan

• University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_michigan_ann_arbor
• Northern Michigan University
•  https://www.pw.org/content/northern_michigan_university
• Western Michigan University
• https://www.pw.org/content/western_michigan_university

Minnesota 

• University of Minnesota 
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_minnesota_0

Mississippi 

• University of Mississippi 
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_mississippi_oxford

Minnesota 

• Washington University 
• https://www.pw.org/content/washington_university
• full tuition and stipend PLUS separate fellowships to apply for more money!

New Jersey

• Rutgers University, Camden
• https://www.pw.org/content/rutgers_university_camden
• Rutgers University, Newark
• https://www.pw.org/content/rutgers_university_newark

New York

• Cornell University
• https://www.pw.org/content/cornell_university_0

Ohio

• Miami University
• https://www.pw.org/mfa/miami_university_0

Texas

• University of Texas, James A. Michener Center for Writers
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_texas_james_michener_center_writers

Virginia

• Hollins University
• https://www.pw.org/content/hollins_university
• Virginia Tech
• https://www.pw.org/content/virginia_polytechnic_institute_and_state_university

Wyoming

• University of Wyoming
• https://www.pw.org/content/university_wyoming

as schools email me back, I will remove or bolden them. 

What’s the point

I started back at Foodlion today.

Then I worked a bistro shift.

I remember this tiredness. The ill mood that goes with it. The sense of hopelessness. The aching body.  The dread at having to do it all again tomorrow.

I tasted freedom for two months. I couldn’t afford it.

If working so much is what I need to do to afford to live then what’s the fucking point?

I’m so tired and I’ll that all I want to do is cry and go to sleep. No eating. No socializing.
No energy.

I’m so fucking tired and I have to do it again. And again. And again.

Fuck this feeling.
Fuck Foodlion.

Just fuck everything.

I don’t want to have  I work two jobs.

I don’t want to have to move in with people that I really don’t think is going to work out.

I don’t want to be struggling any fucking more.

I’m tired of it.

I’m over 500$ in the hole because of that fucking trip to see Racheal - did she help at all? No. She laughed.

I went on that fucking black hole of water money and time  - excuse me, the cruise. That was 2000$ in the hole.

Now I have 1900$ from school.

I feel like I’m never going to get out.

I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow.

Dinosaurs and heated discussions

Both Jimmie and I were off from work today so we decided to have a date day to the museum of science.

On the way he and I ended up arguing over copyright and legal power and ownership over intellectual properties that writers have on the content they put out.

He and I have very different views.

But it really just boils down to the fact that he’s not a writer, he doesn’t understand and I don’t think he will.

Let’s hope this discussion doesn’t come about again, because if it does it might actually turn into a fight. And not a small one either.

I’m still very heated.

Anyway, we have a lovely day at the museum. We see the exhibits and the science center. I fangirl over the dinosaurs, he fan boys over the space and geology and technology.

It’s wonderful.

Then we go out to eat... and I get sick. It happened yesterday too... after eating I get... bowl issues and intense intestinal pain.

It’s becomming more common.

So we rush home, take a nap, watch a movie, and end up having another discussion.

About this scam music festival called fyre festival. A lot of people got scammed out of thousands of dollars, kept in conditions where they had limited access to shelter, food, and water. Not to mention illegally locked in an airport.

This is horrific. But Jimmie thinks it’s great because all of these people were rich.

As if that made them being robbed okay.

So now I’m going to bed irritated again.

Today had its ups and downs; the date was wonderful and I’m happy I got to spend the day with him, on the flip side I got to see a side of him that I did not like very much. The birth charts weren’t wrong when they said that his life view and mine did not align and it would cause issues.

And to put the icing on the cake: something is wrong with my jaw and it really hurts.

Done

So hey... I graduated.

Cum loude. Which means I graduated with a 3.5.


Had a drunk nerf war to celebrate.
Then the next night went drunk adventuring in the seelie court. Which was very nice.

I start back to working both jobs Thursday.

Joy. Joy.

But at least I can stop being such a burden on Jimmie. He’s pretty much the only reason I’ve been eating the past two months.

I’m going to be miserable.
But I need the money.

hunt

the apartment hunt is still ongoing.

1 - find apartment we can all agree on
2 - get cole a better job
3 - apply
4 - put down deposit.
5 - buy washer and dryer


the hunt for a therpist.. has been fruitful.
there is a lady in raliegh who has agreed to see me...

i'm nervous. What if she tells me its all in my head?
what if she gives a 100% official DID diagnosis?
what if she thinks i'm faking?

especially since Fae has been quiet latley. i'm in a good place mentally... but i still want to explore her.

how long has she really been with me?
it was before corie.
possibly even in high school. (disassociation was a coping mechanism for the bipolar)

why?

I didn't have any trauma.

also: how do i figure out when she will take a memory?

I suppose i should also mention how i occasionally see thing, how the night plays tricks with my eyes. moving shadows (it happens... idk how often because i tend to forget it as soon as it happens, but it does happen), hearing my name called (rare...very rare..), the one indecent a few weeks ago....

how the disassociation is getting bad.... at least once a week i don't recognize myself in the mirror. while i'm driving....getting so stuck in a daydream that coming out and doing anything (like turning in traffic) is like moving through molasses. The panic attack that almost lead to a psychotic disassociation a few weeks ago.  Going "grey"...

she works with disassociation. shes not new to this.

but what if she doesn't believe me?
what if she says its all in my head?



should i be prepared to defend myself?

"two or more distinct identities or personality states, each with its own enduring pattern of thinking, perceiving and relating.  In the vast majority of these cases, there is a reported history of extreme anxiety"

Fiona is more logical than i am, it a totally different thought pattern, one that does not feel emotions the same way an does not form attachments easily. She is an entirely different thought process... shes just been more quiet...

...what if she thinks that i'm faking it?...

Fae has been quiet.... but its uruallsy a cycle. i'm fine for like 3 weeks, then things get bad again and she steps up... then i'm fine again....

what if she says its just the bipolar?

i see her thursday the 3rd.

i don't know if i can handle another person telling me its all in my head. That its not real.

i'm scared.

next step on ethnography project

1. gather all data
2. print out all data --> tuesday
3. assign values to all variables  and calculate scores --> tuesday
4. make charts and graphsfor some of the questions
5. make chart for number of people in each category
6. begin presentation/power point - in progress
7. write up report - in progress

This weekend sucked.

This weekend has sucked.

Friday, my day off, I wanted to relax and have fun and hang out with my friends. Wanted to go to pirate fest but didn’t want to go alone, so I didn’t.  Made plans to go Saturday. More or less is what happened, just ended on a more negative note in my end because mental illness is a bitch.

Saturday
Was hoping to go to pirate fest, go to work, get off and go to the bar to hang out with other friends as well as get my 20 informants for ethnography assignment 6. (It’s due fucking Friday and I work 4 days this upcoming week.) with a large portion of the assignment done and hopefully me a little tipsy I was hoping to go home and sleep with my boyfriend.

None of that happened.

Did not go to pirate fest. I went to work and then went to a low energy kickback with friends instead of the bar. Couldn’t drink because I had to drive. Couldn’t really participate in most conversations. Listened to rap music which only seemed to lower the energy. Jimmie managed to get me out of my super grumpy state into a more relaxed only slightly bitchyness (saying we would do something together on Sunday, spend some boyfriend/girlfriend time) when they decided to put on rick and morty.

Which sent me back to square ducking one. Easily one of the worst shows I’ve seen.

So we go back to jimmies but I’m tired and in a shit mood again, so sex was one of the last things I wanted. We ducked around on our phones and then tried to sleep. I say try because his asshole neighbor was playing music the entire night (she finally cut it off around 12:45pm Sunday). Didn’t seem to bother Jimmie; he just played an audio of a space short story and fell asleep. I tossed and turned, got up walked around, drank some water, tried to sleep again... I was debating leaving and going home so that I could maybe get some sleep, but passed out. So I don’t know what time I fell asleep... sometime between 4-6.

Sunday:

I wake up at 11 with jimmies alarm with a pounding headache courtesy of his asshole neighbor. I’m in a shit mood because no sleep and I’m starving. I can’t go back to sleep because asshole neighbor, who’s musics’ beat is literally causing me physical pain. Jimmie gives me something for the headache and we dick around on our phones for a bit. He goes back to sleep and I continue to dick around after I realize there’s no fucking way I can sleep. I run out of things to do on my phone so I kiss him goodbye and go home.

He’s got 4 hours worth of homework to do after he wakes up and I have a pile of it as well. Still in a shit ducking mood but at least I’m in a bad mood with my cats and can maybe channel it into work. I'll message him in a few hours to see if he still wants to do something.

This weekend just ducking sucked.


*** edit
checked in. its after 4:30 and idk if he has even started. I guess we aren't going to be doing anything. gods above this weekend has sucked.