Pros and Cons

so... just because i need to focus my mind i'm going to make a list.
of what? pros and cons about going Agnes Scott.

Pros

• I will be out of the house
• I will be able to reconnect with myself
• i will find out who i really am without the influence of my mother. 
• i will develop into a stronger person
• new experiences
• tennis. 
• smaller campus
• more culturally diverse
• transit station = ok not to have a car at first
• all women = feel more supported
• all women = more chances at getting a girlfriend
• daughters of gia. This is a big one.... i feel so alone here it isn't funny... spiritually i don't have anyone i can learn from (Mrs. Herrera is more of a life teacher... not so much a spiritual teacher anymore)
• more volunteer opportunities
• liberal arts = YOGA and SELF DEFENSE as PE's!!! :D
• Gay friendly
• beautiful campus
• smaller classes
• honor system/code
• they have a survey type thing to help get you a compatible roommate
• DORMS ARE KICK ASS
• they have a nice library

plus i feel like i will be able to make friends faster there... idk. i know at ECU i'll make friends fast, but i feel like i'm more likely to meet the kind of people i myself want to become at Agnes. 

Cons

• expensive out the wah-zoo. *crosses fingers* PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASE let there be ots of financial aid help.
• i won't know ANYONE there. me = shy
• won't have Racheal to hide behind... which is GOOD... but scary.
• no smokey. 
• yeah.... not having Smokey (my familiar/cat) is really going to be hard...... like... i'm almost in tears thinking about it.....
• what if i'm just a wanna be and they all can tell and i stick out like a sore thumb? >.< it could be just like madison's friends all over again....
• no kitchens in the dorms D:
• no smokey. 

what am i going to do without smokey?

for anyone who doesn't know:

smokey is the cat that i consider my familiar. i love him just as much as i love my twin sister. 

he helps me sleep.

he is a comfort.

i just feel so attatched to him its not even funny.

He has protected me (spiritually and from nightmares)

playing with him reduces my stress.

smelling him helps me calm down if i'm panicking. 

i am so used to him i know pretty  much what he wants whenever he cries at night. 

although a lot of my scars are from him (as any cat person can relate...) he reduces my physical pain. no lie. 

When he's with me i feel like whatever is happenening will eventually be OK.

I think my primary spirit guide sometimes watches over me through him. yeah that sounds weird... but C'est la vie