so the past few weeks have been blissful. my mental health has been amazingly stable... no mood swings up or down. fae has been pretty much silent, which is technically a good thing, although i miss her at times.
well its started again. i finallly started a depressive episode. lethargy. feeling drained. lead on my chest and limbs. irritable.
today is going on day three... woke up mad because of a bad dream. was going to be too late to cass, so i skipped. came back to jimmies an slept some more.... more bad dreams. So my mood goes from mad to just plain shitty. not to mention i feel feverish and weak again, almost like my sickness is returning. (oh i forgot to blog that i got sick last week. nothing serious... slight fever for a day with congestion and coughing. as usual its drained into my lungs. my cough and congestion has been persistent.) - but being with him made me feel a little bit better; smelling him, touching him, kissing him... mind you, he doesn't make it just all go away, but cuddling ith him at least made is a bit better.
so then we all go out for munch, Jimmie, his roommate cory, and i. i actually think im going to be able to eat all my food, maybe even order more... nope. i got hit with a wave of dizziness and tightness in my head and slight nausea. all i want then is to curl up in my bed with my cats.
so then i go home and curl into bed with my cats...
while with the boys i wanted to be alone. but once alone i wanted jimmie with me.
bipolar sucks.
Amy will be coming to visit soon though, spend the hour with me before i have to go to work. 'i miss her so much, all the time. I really wish i could speed up time to when she and i will be really okay again. I still feel like there is such a distance between us. things feel a bit awkward. I miss her.
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