FaeriCon

okay so thr first part was basically a faerie themed flea market.
i only baught a few things, but spent waaay too much money. Everything was expensiv... but everything was authentic and DEF. worth the money.

i'll have pics up soon.

i met a psychic who did a eading for me. Aparently i will have 2 sons. I have a dark haired love interest that i am holding back from, that i should go for . (i don't really have a crush on anyone...so... i mean, there is the cute girl in my first class, but its not really a thing.)
 and apparently my SG is female. But because i'm so blocked in my third eye i felt that she was male.

um...

please no.
if my SG is female and i have been calling her male that is so embarrassing.

plus he showed himself to me as a male,,,,
at least it looked that way in the breif flash of my mind.

but going back to that dream in which i went home i was with a younger girl, who was blonde. what if she is my SG? my little sister from the past life?

see i suspected that maybe my SG and i were married in my previoous life.. or related in some way. idk. i need answers. I need to consult my pendulum and talk with him/her.


but the faerie ball.

amazing.
Woodland was the first band to play and their second song that they performed.... i lost myself in a trance and guys.... I litterally felt myself as my spirit is. I felt myself as an elf. I was there, with my eyes closed, but could see with my mind. i could feel my ears and my entire body, it felt different than my human one. Guys. i felt myself as a fae. As my spirit is. it was beautiful.

then Omnia. fucking Omnia. i saw them, live. alksjxflWHJFULEGF
it was awesome.

they sound just as good live as they do recorded. and they are all about love and independence and being true to who you are.

def chaotic good.

the actually got called back onto stage... TWICE by the crowd. ad their last song was Morrigan. by that time i was in the back of the room and could actually DANCE. when i say dance i dont mean modern danceing. i mean, my own dance. and i did it in front of people. and you know what? they smiled. they liked it. it was awsome.

and guys this weekend.... i had such a release... i needed it.

that night i was able to pray to Cernunnos and actually feel him listening to me.

last night i imagined talking to him again...

"Though there are many Gods inside your head
And I am only one
Believe in me I'll set you free
To worship me is fun

Because I stand for freedom
The forest wyld untamed
I'm creative Chaos no I just cannot be chained

You people think you're different but to me you're all the same
So if you feel in need of me well you can call my name

Call me Satan call me Satyr
I'm Cernunnos I am Pan
I'm the laughter in the forest
I'm the happy horny one"

I want to call out to him. I want to feel him again. I want to be free. Unchained. Happy.

It was so amazing, to be unrestricted this weekend.

and then last night i actually saw my SG. FELT him (or her...)
and that hasn't happened in a long time. He(/she) held my hand, and then stayed with me util i went to sleep.

I saw him. floating over me... not in any distinct form, but like a mist.

But he held my hand. i felt him.

and i know its because of this weekend. I was able to open myself because of this weekend.

I'm so happy i could cry.... i just don't want to get closed off again.

hospital

woolard is in the hospital.
he had a heart stint put in.
i didn't even know it until this morning.
my dad was in the hospital and i didn't know.
i feel so bad....
he says he feels fine and he's okay....
woolard....
in the hospital.
i want to cry.

Ju/'hoansi

1. What are the available food resource opportunities for the Ju/'hoansi in the Dobe Region?
"Plant foods make up he majority of their diet.... more than a hundred varieties of edible plants..." In a single gathering they can gather enough food to last ten days. The most important plant being the Mongongo nut which is their main source of protein, however they do hunt as well which is about 30% of their diet.


2.  What part of the Ju/'hoansi social organization was most interesting to you?
I was very impressed with how Women are able to be elders and are treated as equals. In many cultures, especially older ones, this is not common.

Their Marriages also interest me greatly. Although first marriages are arranged, a woman can show their displeasure at the wedding ceremony (which involves forcably taking the bride from her hut in a "capture") by fighting, kicking, and screaming. If this occurs, then there is a great chance the marriage will not happen. Also, divorce is not uncommon. This really surprised me when i compare it to other cultures i have learned about this year. These women are surprisingly independent and the fact that Divorce is not frowned upon, and often expected (with first marriages) really impressed me.

3.  What are the major issues for the Ju/'hoansi today?
Health - Because the former diet could no longer be kept up due to restrictions on hunting and their ability to forage, with borders and fences being built, hypertension and heart disease began to show up in the people. Add that with cigarettes and alcohol and the problem multiplies.
Food/Starving - Due to no longer being able to live as they had before the Ju were forced to depend on the government's food distribution programs. When that ended they were left in a very lean state and unable to predict how things would progress. eventually the government would provide rations.
Overcrowding - combining the first two issues with the fact that reservations were basically established that held a thousand people when only desgned to hold 275 people led to other issues such as family violence.


4.  In your opinion, what can we learn from the Ju/'hoansi culture?
I think what we can learn from them is generosity. By working together thy can gather enough food to last for days in just one trip. When meat is accessible, it is eaten in a joyful feast and it is made sure that everyone gets a fair share.Americans like to think of themselves as generous, sending help to other countries in times of disaster, but when it comes to our own people we turn a blind eye as a whole. I think that the teamwork and fair treatment/dispersion of food, which i would call generous, is what we can learn from the Ju/'hoansi.

One other thing i feel we can learn from the Ju is their humility. Although I don't particularly like how they bash and talk down a hunter's kill, i do like how they avoid overly boastful people. In America many people are quick to brag and let any success go to their head. Being arrogant and cocky has actually been a stereotype for Americans in several movies and books that i have read. To be honest i feel this is kind of accurate for American society and culture, which is why their humility is something i think we should keep in mind.

Best Memory

okay so in Societies class, the teacher mention how often we wish our best memories had lasted longer.

i have two... formerly my best memory had been that relaxing day outside, listening to music, burning incense, and just relaxing with Racheal one afternoon.

but the first thing that poped into my head when he said best memory, was the beach trip with Kasey, Kit, me and Jake.

which has made me a bit sad.

i'm over jake. i really am. our relationship is dead. the end.

i just sometimes miss my former best friend.

tat day at the beach, throwing sand and wrestling, and laughing, and it was just pure happiness. that day was pure happiness.

and instead of being happy when i remember it, i feel sad.


which that fact in itself is sad.

ugh.

this makes me happy.

looking at this picture makes me happy.

look at this,,,,, i mean..AWWWWWWWW

the way Eugene is lookin at her.... and PETER PAN. SOOOO FUCKING CUTE. 

SERIOUSLY. CUTENESS OVERLOAD. i repeat: CUTENESS OVERLOAD. 

exam #2

okay so i'm taking my second "societies from around the world" exam today... noooo not ready for it

it really sucks that we learned about 2 cultures this time, because i have a feeling i'm going to get them mixed up as hell.

plus i'm driving myslf today, which means i need to keep up with paying the parking meter.

i need to get there a bit early to study and to get my test materials that i forgot to buy last week.

ugh.

thoth please help me. i need to pass this exam. please. please.please. i love you and thank you.


wish me luck guys.

paaaaarrtaaayyyyyy

no.

okay so i went to a halloween "party" last night.  it was like... 10 people most of who were drinking a LOT and joking around about larking (live action role playing). then a little fire and some singing. it was alright...a bit boring at times, but not bad.

execept will.

he would not let up about me not drinking. several times... asking why i don't drink. did i want a drink. and then at the end, when i finally had enough i ended up getting a challenge. if one of the guys made me a drink that i couldn't taste the alcohol i would drink some, if i could taste the alcohol then they would drink it.

i couldn't taste the alcohol, so i took a few sips and was done.
then will.

kept trying to get me to finish it, kept asking why i wouldn't. he just couldn't understand why i didn't want to get drunk.

pissed. me. the fuck. off.

"why won't you finish it?"
because i don't want to get drunk.
"why don't you want to get drunk?"
because i just don't want to get drunk.
"please?"
NO.

and then FINALLY he backed off. i think he saw that he actually pissed me off when i practically yelled the 'no' at him.

after that i was kinda in a sour mood.

why the fuck can't people just understand i don't drink?
i told him BEFORE we went i didn't drink.
i must have said it like 10 different times that night.
and still he kept on.

it wasn't a bad night... just not my kind of party.