phantom of the opera otome game

BE STILL MY CRAZY FAN GIRL HEART

https://sandeian.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/otome-game-review-persona-opera-za-no-kaijin/


for me to read and squeal over later.

poison Ivy

so... the other night.... my friends wanted to make a fire for their fireplace and needed wood. So naturally he walks into the woods and gets a unch of stcks... and made me hold some.


next morning? Poison Ivy.

And this shit spreads like a forest fire.......

last night it was in my hears, my scalp, my eyes, my legs my stimaxh and back... a litttle on my arms but not too bad.

I took an oatmeal bath. I used an oatmeal paste. I now how calemine lotion on.

the paste worked magic.... but anywhere ther wasn't paste has now exploded with the rash.


however - the spreading is a misconception.

after 6 hours the oils naturally leave the skin... an outbreaks after that is from residue oil on clothes or isn't actually "spreading"; its just came into contact with the oil after other parts so the rash appears later.

Its not contagious after the first 6 hours.

i am miserable...



the first day it was all over my left side.  It has since gone down a good bit.
now its all over my right side....

I hate this. i hate this. i hate this.

please let this ends SOON.

speaking to professors

OK so i have this issue with talking to professors.

There is only one professor i am 100% comfortable just going up and talking to: Dr. Bunger. and thats because he is just so easy to talk to and so open and accepting of people. he just oozes nice-ness.

i could say the same thing about Dr. Loudon, but for some reason i can talk to him. He just seems... too cool?

like..Dr. Bunger i see as a mentor, and thus although i admire and respect him VERY much, i am more comfortable with him.

Dr. Loudon....idk i always feel like if i try to talk to him i'd be bothering him... or i get nervous and don't know what to say. but he is SO nice and friendly that i WANT to talk to him. i guess...i feel unworthy?

like the other day i waved to him in the halls while i walked to class and he was talking to someone. i didn't even think he saw me but he stoped talking long enough to say "hey lisa" and i swear i about exploded. he actually remembered my name. i was shocked.


i really need to work on this self-confidence thing.

and it isn't JUST Dr. Loudon, i feel like i'm bothering almost any professor when i go up and talk to them. But i guess i admire Dr. Loudon so much he's the one that sticks in my brain?

i think i have him on this pedestal in my mind and thus i am too low to talk to him?

i did/do the same thing with peers as well. If someone seems too awesome, i get shy and feel like i cant talk to them.

how do i get over that?

especially when i actually do want to talk to those people?

Self talk

So... Good things seem to be going on in my life. I feel like I did well on a very important midterm. I got to see a great movie. I have wonderful friends. I got good hours this week at work...

So why do I feel down?

I feel kinda empty. 

Like I just want to be hugged but no amount of hugs would ever be enough.

I miss my sister so bad it makes me want to cry. 

I'm worried I'll never find mrs. Right... I know I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me... But it seems so many people I know are engaged or married now. 

I recently posted some honest opinions on some friends' pages, might as well do it to myself.  I will leave myself a message as if I were speaking to someone else.

They say self talk is a conversation with the universe... I will speak this into being.

Lisa. You are a warm and loving person who impacts the lives of everyone you meet. You are quick to smile and laugh and your joy Is contagious. You are strong and brave enough to embrace love and spread it unconditionally. You make it your goal to make others feel loved and secretly that is what you want to feel as well although you would never ask it from anyone. You are loyal and compassionate. Smart. And your positive and free spirit lifts the spirits of those around you. You need to see your value. Accept that loving yourself is enough and you do need to truly love yourself. Embrace your natural ability to love and don't deny yourself that gift. It is through love (for others and self) that you will truly live. Do not fear what is to come, embrace it with a smile just as you would friend. Be fearless through love for it it the only thing you do not fear at all. 

As I write this, I will it to be so.

for bio anth lab 3 hours straight

smokey while i studied:

Rested on bed  - 10 minutes
shifted to change position - i minute
rested - one min
changed position and pawed at me to pet him  - 1 minute
i engage in petting - 3 mintes
he stands up and throws himself on me - one minute
we engage in petting  - 5 minutes
he gets up and moves 1 minute
lays down on pillow behind me - 1 minute
rests and watches me - 5 minutes
sleeps - 32 minutes

= 61 min

wakes, shifts, 1min
rests - 5 min
sleeps - 13 min
i shift - waking him - 1 min
he stands - i min
rubs against me as he walks across my lap - 1 min
walks around my room - 1 minute
sits on my dresser - 1 minute
meows at me wall - 2 minutes while i talk to him.
he stares at me - 1 minute
i call him over and he comes - 1 minute
i hold him - 1 minute
walks around room again sit on other dresser -1
meows - 1
scratches on wall - 1 minute
i yell. he stops. 1 min
sits while watching outside  - 10 minutes
walks back to me - 1 min
rests beside me on the pillow - 1 minute
rest.1 min
sleeps - 15 minutes

= 61

wakes, moves to my lap, lays. - 7  minutes while i pet him.
i move him, he curls up not too far from me and rests. - 3 minues
i lay on him and snuggle into his stomach - 2 mintes
i get up, he shifts position - 1 minute
sleeps - 22 minutes

=35

wakes, stretches, paws at me, 1minute
i pet - 2 minutes, he shifts,
bathes himself - 6 minutes
rests and watches me - 17 minutes
hears a noise and bcomes alet - 1 minute
noise repeats and e jumps off the best and out the room - 1 minute
 = 28

= 185 = 3 hours.

Hopeful

For the first time in a long time I feel hopeful of the future. Not the near future but the far future.

In the past thinking of the future left me feeling hopeless. Trapped. Caged. Filled with dread. Fear.

Now? Hope. Excitement.

I actually have an achievable plan for the future. 

I won't go into too many details, lest I jinx it,but I have a plan with my mother that will allow her dreams to come true and mine simultaneously.

I will have my writing career. And be able to coach tennis. 

I have found a way to realistically support myself and be a writer at the same time.

I will be able to devote hours to writing. Letting it engulf me... All the while not be starving and living out of a cardboard box.

In a sense... I will be free, not caged. Doing something that I love and helping out my mother as well.

I will still be exposed to people, I can write, and have tennis in my life.

For the first time I am truly hopeful for the future , instead of scared.

I almost can't wait.

Faerie Faith

I am a firm believer in faeries.
This used to be something i was slightly embarrassed about and didn't really go around advertising.
now?
HEY GUYS I LOVE FAERIES. FAERIE FRIEND <- RIGHT HERE.

i am unashamed. Its something i have a passion about.
Learning about them from cultures all over the world puts my spirit on cloud nine.
Just talking about them puts a light in my eye and a fire in my heart.

why should i be ashamed of something that brings me so much joy?
i shouldn't.

My past life aside, faerie lore is a passion.
No one should ever feel ashamed or embarrassed for their passion.

I'm learning to embrace my passion, its who i am. What is life without passion? Without learning?

i refuse to hide my faerie faith.

it makes up a big part of who i am and i am finding out, as i write this paper, that i am not only unashamed of it, but i am proud of my love of faeries.

And the more sure i am in this faith, the more experiences i have with them,

• They were some of the first people to comfort me when my heart truly broke for the first time. 
• they come check on me when i'm falling asleep.
• They beckon me to come see them in the woods in my neighborhood, although i have yet to develop the courage to come when they call. 
• at least on one occasion i've had one accompany me on a walk through the neighborhood in the form of a firefly. (how do i know it was a faerie? It stayed beside me the entire time, alnost in a straight line, and only when i was surrounded by a lot of metal - a bunch of trailers and cars- did it leave me. It came directly from the area of trees i had talked to and i never saw it fly away...it simply disappeared.)
• i've had numerous experiences with the house faeries. NUMEROUS.... one of which included an audible sound (i closed one in the door and it screamed. i thought i had shut a cat in the door but when i opened the door - i saw nothing. when i went to shut the door again, something physiclally stopped the door.)

My faerie faith is strong. They know this and so they interact with me (not often, but they do).

I am unashamed  and i am honest about my faith. I love them and i respect them. 

in no way does my belief in them harm me, just the opposite. it enriches my life - is that not the purpose of a faith?