strike three- she's out.

Sometimes i wish i wasn't me. >.<

i mean...

i'm gay. makes shit a lot harder. makes finding people i can date a lot harder.
i'm pagan. yaaaay judgmental people.
i'm lonley. woopdy-doo.
i'm frustrated and i am tired of being alone.

i'm a great person. i'm nice. i am compassionate. what the hell is wrong with me? why is it so damn hard to find someone else who can see that?

so, yeah. its not happening with Ashley walls. The universe has been trying to tell me this and i've been ignoring it. because i sucks. well now, it can't be ignored.

-today is the second time i've tried to arrange a meeting with her. Both times have fallen through.

-she has stopped talking to me. because she likes me. wtf? and i have a feeling it is because...

-she has a boyfriend.

its not going to work out. fuck.

i'm just mean tot be alone aren't i?

well i'm not going to fight it. its not going to happen with Ashley; fine i'll leave it be. i'll move on, even if it sucks.