Collin

Collin is a great guy. He can make just about everyone laugh and has made many a bad day better for me. But sometimes ... he can ruin a good mood.

Today i was goofing off and stole his book, since he wouldn't give one to another girl. it was all good fun and it was cool with it. but he decided to joke with me about something i do not find amusing. Killing kittens. he went into detail about how he would do it (he wouldn't ever actually do it). cutting off their paws, drowning them in cold water, cutting into their noses and pouring alcohol down its throat... making images flash into my mind that make me sick to my stomach.

Naturally i don't want to cry in front of him. i don't want him to know how upset it makes me. He doesn't understand how much i love cats... he knows i like them and to get me roweled up he likes to make really dark jokes like that. today i didn't get roweled up so...he didn't stop. finally i just said "enough" and he did stop. but he didn't know just how upset i was.how upset i am.

Collin is great 9/10 days. but when he does shirt (at school) like that....

he asked me what i would do if he tied a kitten to a sledge hammer and then hit a wall. i told him i would beat him with the sledge hammer.

what would i do if he hung a kitten and carried it on his book bag. i said i would stangle him with it.

what would i do if he cut its eyes out and then  played peekaboo with it? i would cut his eyes out and make him eat them.

and i mean it.
he doesn't mean it. but i do.

cats are sacred to me. i love them. it kills me inside knowing that i have to leave smokey behind when i go to college.

and when people make jokes like that,....

it doesn't help that i saw my aunt's new kitten this morning. named her Hermione. So as he was joking, i saw poor Hermione going through all he was saying.

now my chest hurts. it feels tight.