Alone

the downside to living with three other people... aside from not having any place to escape to when everyone is home... is it’s almost impossible to be home alone.

There is always someone here.

Cory gets out of class before I even wake up.
Idk what’s going on with Diana’s job, but she’s always home.

I don’t want to interact with them but I don’t want to just stayed cooped up in my room.

There is only so much I can do outside the apartment without spending money.

It’s impossible to have the apartment to myself. Or to just have it be Jimmie and I for more than 10 minutes.

Let’s be real. That’s the real issue.
It seems impossible to get time alone with him. I get home from work and he’s playing video games or watching a movie with Diana. I get that they are best friends. but sometimes it feels like I’m third wheeling in my own relationship. the only real alone time I get with him is when we are going to bed.

Granted, he’s trying. I see that. But frankly I don’t think that one day a week of us spending some time together is enough to fix what’s going on. unfortunately it seems we might have to just ride it out and hope for the best. Because I don’t know what else to do.

It was hard before but now school is added on top of that, he now has homework to do when he’s home. Which don’t get me started on - because apparently he can watch alto with the other 2 but gets to homework as soon as I come home. It seems the only day we would be able to spend the most time together is going to go back to being homework day.

I miss how it was. I miss seeing him all the time. I miss going on errands together. I miss our late night trips to Walmart or Taco Bell. I miss being on the same schedule as him.

I don’t miss having to leave by babies to see him  or leaving him to see my babies... but I miss having my place. I miss having a place I could go with him to get away from everything and everyone else. I miss having a place away from everyone and everything else.


I’m just feeling so lonely and pessimistic. I wish I could go back and freeze time.