Rant

this is a rant. I have people coming over soon and I need to make myself cheery - which means I need to get this off my chest so I can play host.

i have finished all my food prep for the party. jimmie and i get back from the store and diana is playing video games, jimmie makes a comment indicating he is about to play with her, so i play on my phone. as he is making hs lunch he tells me he has next saturday off.

i say "cool".

 he adds that he has monday and tuesday as half days - again i say "cool".  I don't know what he was expecting. cool, get to see you for a few hours before i go to work. its not like we can really do anything sine we only have from 12 until 4.

then he mutters "i'm sorry i can't make this relationship work." to me, this seems like a dramatic statement so i ask him where it came from. he tells me that for the past month ive been nothing but negative, that all i do is stay on my phone, i'm never excited, and that i might as well be a teenager.

2 weeks out of that month ive been depressed. as for everything else? what tee fuck am i suppose to do? i can be on my phone or i can do the same exact thing on my laptop. Diana is pretty much on the tv all the time and when he is home they pretty much just play video games. what am i suppose to do other than be on my phone? there is nothing to do!

i'm bored and i'm unhappy.

when he has time off all it means is that i actually get to wake up next to him. Maybe watch an episode or two of our show if i'm lucky. Most of the time He just plays on his phone and watches boring youtube videos - so i likewise am on my phone.

and what is there to get excited over? A fucking computer that wasn't fucking there? Oh yay, i get to lay in bed on my pone next to you while you watch educational youtube videos - or worse fucking family guy clips.

what is there to be excited about? What is there for me to do other than be on my phone?
like i dont know what the fuck he expects from me?

And I am not about to have a fucking fight with him in front of Diana.