patience

patience

Or lack there of.

I have no patience - for anything. Any kind of minor inconvenience or let down and I don’t have the patience to deal with it... I go straight to anger or irritated.

I’m starving and I have food to eat only there are two plates and I don’t know which one is mine. Jimmie is at work and logically I know e can’t check his phone every time it vibrates or whatever but I have no patience. I’m fucking hungry.  I have a steak I could eat but I don’t know which one is mine so I’m going to have to eat some instant fucking ramen while looking at a steak.

Anger.

Yesterday mild inconveniences and little annoyances: no patience and suddenly I’m too irritated to care that Jimmie is trying to be sweet. Yesterday was Wednesday so that mean video games... but he has also been playing video games all the time. He has free time now, he should be able to do what he wants and what makes him happy. Great. But does he have to play for the majority of the only free time we have together? Then as I’m totally irritated and getting ready for work he decides to be sweet.

Logically I know he’s making an effort. But I’m irritated and it only makes me more agitated because it’s after the fact.

Or the fact that he expected me not to eat as soon as I got off from work because he had food for me... 45 minutes away. After I had eaten nothing but maybe two bites of a burger the entire day.

Minor inconvenience - McDonald’s and major disappointment - bad mood.

I don’t have the patience to deal with things logically.

And it’s been this way for days.

Pretty much since somone suggested that I’m always in a bad mood and grumpy... wasn’t before. Have been since they said it.

And I am so FUCKING HUNGRY CAN HE PLEASE JUST CHECK HOS PHONE SO I DO T HAVE TO EAT SHIT FOOD FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW.

This also being the second day this week where I dont get to see him for lunch.


It’s just non stop minor inconveniences and let downs and they are stacking and I have no patience to put up with any of it.

I feel like I have road rage at my life right now.