The next girl

And that damn song plays in my head on repeat anytime I get near him now.

I wonder if it will be the couple song with his next girlfriend?
Will he feel like a whole person with her?

Maybe she will be able to read his mind and be able to tell when he needs space and maybe she won’t be overbearing and too clingy. Maybe she’ll be a gamer. Maybe she’ll be able to figure out what he wants and make sense of what he does.
Maybe she can understand his periods of distance interrupted by random sweet acts that won’t take her by surprise.

I remember when we first started dating he was telling me about his different exes and I thought “I wonder how he will describe me to the next girl?”

Will I be the overly sensitive clingy girl who just wasn’t enough?
Will I be the girl who was suppose to just be a fling but he couldn’t figure out a way to get away sooner?
Will he talk about marriage and kids with her too? And then say it was too soon?

Maybe not.

Maybe she’ll move at the same pace as him, slow and cautious.
Maybe I’ll be more cautious moving forward... scared to trust what seems like a good thing.

Maybe his family will like her more than me.

All I can think is that if I could put time in a bottle I would bottle up the first year with him and just stay there.

I just want this damn song out of my head.

At least the one in my head is the cover that I put on his CD and not the original one that I’m sure played in Amy’s head.

Same words, different voice. I wonder which version will play in her head.



I just want my brain to be quiet... I wish I had more goddamn lorazepam.