Charlie and I move into our new apartment in 33 days.
We have 3 kittens - Maui, Banshee, and Valkyrie.
As of Friday February 27th 2026…. Smokey is gone.
His kidney failure has progressed to where he was throwing up constantly and was in pain. So I had to make the very hard decision to say goodbye. He went to sleep on a good day.
I am struggling.
Snow is sad and needing extra love. She wears her heart on her sleeves. I think this is her first death and I know she misses him.
Humu is grieving more subtly. He sleeps on the bed regularly now. He is a lot more open to affection.
The kittens probably aren’t even aware. I think Banshee is. I think she was sent to me to help me process Smokey’s loss.
I want to love them all. But I bounce between disassociatingly numb and overwhelming grief. I’m going through the motions but I don’t know how much I can give them all.
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