figuring out i'm a lesbian

This feeling that

i have inside myself

in the back of my mind

on the highest shelf

it goes against

what  my mind's been trained

but fighting this is driving me insane!

i fight it now,

this thought,

its name.

and i know it will win,

but who do i blame?

i want to embrace it,

and yet-when i face it

i feel my mind split in two.

 one side to me,

the other to you.

help me out!!

i'm so confused!!

my mind, it feels

so abused, over used,

someone help me through!

i feel one thing,

and it feels alright,

but if i delve deeper,

i feel the fright.

the other thought 

it feels so natural, light

but because if society

i must fight.

one thought it comes

lightning fast.

it comes from training

from my past.

but the other thought,

it takes more time,

but it feels stronger,

and then i rhyme.

but to come out,

to fully embrace it,

would cause problems,

but i can't erase it!

i hope, and pray,

it will be my friend...

sorry boys,

i'm a lesbian.