Goodbye Carson

I will probably add more to this later, but at the moment:

i'm not all weepy anymore, but i am still sad.
I won't be able to make it to his funeral but I will be able to go to his visitation tonight.

i'm going to ask to get off work a little early so that i can go.

i get to say goodbye.

staring at that word.

goodbye.

my eyes fill up with hot liquid.

goodbye.

I'm going to see him. laying there, motionless and sleeping.
it will be peaceful.

who knows... maybe i will feel better.

Goodbye Carson. I'm so sorry i wasn't a better friend and i didn't check up on you often. I'm so sorry i didn't even know you were in greenville lately.  I'm so sorry I didn't know you had gotten your dream job with the democratic party. Thats so great.

I'm so sorry.
Now you're gone.

You're soul has moved onto its next stage, your body remains, and that is al i have to part ways. I get to say goodbye to your body because i missed my chance to say it to your soul.

I'm never going to see your eyes, so alert, reminding me of a shark. They will never look into mine again.

I will never get to hear you make any sarcastic remarks again.


I will never get to hug you again.

Goodbye Carson.