I have seen a few of these so I figured I could do one myself.
2020 Recap for me:
- was in a happy relationship with Viking boy
- Death of a friend
- Covid 19 robbing me of the summer with friends and being out and about.
- Viking boy dumped me.
- stalked and almost attacked
- shootout at the apartments, found dead body
- formed a new dynamic with viking boy rather than cutting him out of my life that SO FAR has worked
- Moved into a place all on my own for the first time.
- Started working with Lilith and trying to develop a new approach to life.
- realized I have a vertigo problem and actually went to the doctor about it
- very sad holiday season.
What I will leave behind:
- My dependency on being in a relationship and being against "flings"/casual dating.
- My dependence on roommates to help my financially
- letting myself be uncomfortable/ putting myself in situations i don't want to be in.
- remaining silent on things that bother or upset me
- letting people cross boundaries
- fear.avoidance/giving into ptsd symptoms... which means i need to start going for walks by myself again... in the light.
What are some things that I know are coming for me in 2021:
- Financial Independence
- Stronger friendship bonds
- Graduation from Grad School
- Hopefully a direction I want to go in as far as career and where I want my life to go moving forward. (emphasis on the WHERE... where will I move in 2022?)
- a healthier lifestyle. I need to start cooking more again. It's just so strange cooking for one person. I want to go to the gym but with the pandemic I know my coworkers would not be okay with that.
- A laissez faire approach to dating. What happens, happens, but I'm not going to be expressly looking for a person. It's pretty much been decided that what i need is an undefined relationship... doesn't need to be classified as casual.. but also doesn't have big future plans. I literally need a person that everything is taken day by day with but still forms the emotional attachments and such with. It could have the potential to be long lasting or the potential to be a fling... the point is not to worry about it. also min of 3 months together before agreeing to a relationship if that were to happen. which... given that i am trying to leave the state... a serious relationship wouldn't make much sense.
- Hopefully I will develop some discipline when it comes to spirituality.... My spiritual direction right now is self improvement. I need to actually work on that. I need to be out in nature by myself more. Meditate in it. Read books in it. do readings in it. I need to BE OUTSIDE, and focused.
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