Withdrawl

 I can recognize that I'm feeling withrawl symptoms from the consistent nuerotransmitters I was getting over the past month from gamer boy. 

Its the feelings of withdrawl that make me freaking stupid and want to reconnect. (He has no way of contacting me, but I could easily meet up with him if I wanted to, since it was me that always went to his place or met him at the gym)

I need to find otherways of getting the brain chemical hits that I am craving because my initial addiction is rearing its ugly head (downer pills). I need to be very freaking careful because last night I took 2 of my anxiety pills (to counter the adhd med induced insomnia) and the pleasure I felt when they hit.. reminded me why i'm a fucking addict in the first place. 

so lets look at the culptrits in question:

"Love" (oxytocin) + "pleasure" (dopamine) + "happiness" (serotonin)

Non drug or dating related ways of getting them:

• Oxytocin
• Listening to music and singing
• Cuddling with friends
• Petting and cuddling animals
• Exercise can release it
• Charity work/helping others
• Social activity
• Dopamine
• Sleep
• Singing
• exercise - dopamine seesaw eefect - also protects dopamine receptors
• eating protien
• Gut health = probiotics
• Serotonin
• Eating specific foods like: eggs, pineapples, poultry, oatmeal, chocolate
• exercise 
• GI tract health  = probiotics
• at least 15 minutes of sunlight
• sleep
• Social Activity 

Okay so going that actually explains why people go to the gym when depressed/break up  - scientifically it provides all the same brian chemicals as being in love & addiction. 

• Gym/mandatory walks/mandatory dancing
• Actually fucking sleeping
• Singing. I need to sing. Make myself sing in the car, in the shower, etc. 
• Make myself be social.