fuck it.
I'm so over waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to go to sleep again for hours.
They make me feel manic just without the self sabotage. but it at times teeters on crazy manic.
The past three days (today included) i can feel myself entering my "ice queen" phase as mom calls it. I want to be alone. I'm angry for no reason. I'm feeling numb and craving isolation.
i'm hella apathetic.
I want to scream and punch people and maybe set something on fire.
and then cry.
what i'll end up doing is redying my hair and then just laying in bed.
fuck.
so fuck birth control i'm goping back to trileptal.
i'll just use spermicide and condoms.
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