math for the move

 I shouldn't need to get a uhaul because I have access to at least 1 truck (if emmet comes through for me). If not it will go on the credit card and i'll just suffer later. 

Hunter, maybe Brad, Emmet, maybe DJ, Maybe Jeremy & Mary-claire for help moving. 

Rent at new place: 1095

Rent at current place: $417 for 10 days (gives me 1 day to move and 2 days to clean)

Deposit:  $1095; 

going based on full deposit: minus pre deposit

amount needed 6/6: 2028.50

- (1250-417) : 833

- from savings: 1000

- saved gas: 80 - no trips to see mom all of May :( 

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115.5 --> cashapp.

ADHD

 You want proof of my ADHD?

Today has been a fucking nightmare. 

Why?

Because my fucking adhd won't let me focus on my work. It is taking me ages to get even the simplest task done, and when I try to force myself to focus I get hit with waves of anxiety that make me want to curl up in a ball. It took me an hour to be able to figure out what kind of stimulus was helping my brain because I could tell i needed something - so I put on music. 

Not my usual music, oh no. Because my usual music sounded like someone was putting my mind on a cheese grater. took me trial and error but i eventually found out i needed classical music... but not the kind that was too gentle or soft. No i needed one with multiple instruments at once with varying patterns. 

finally got that taken care of so I was able to start attempting to focus. My brain was so avoidant to do the work that I was staring at the wall. I could feel the anxiety building up again so I turned to something I knew my brain would like: research. So I did a little research on chaplaincy again. Okay that eased the screaming brain a bit. It was quieter in my head so I again have tried to do work.

I CANNOT FUCKING FOCUS. 

I have the STRONGEST urge to do my taxes, my fucking taxes, which I tried to file last month but had to refile. and now I have to refile them AGAIN because of the stupid change of state. So I have been procrastinating bad. but now? Brain says we have to do taxes RIGHT NOW instead of focusing on my work. 

I feel anxiety in my chest and unease in my limbs; like i have electricity and i just need to MOVE. This entire time, I cannot do my fucking work. 

I had 35 emails this morning. On a regular day I could knock that out in like an hour. Going on 5 hours now and I STILL HAVE 17 EMAILS. 

I'm going to bash my skull into a wall I SWEAR TO GOD

New Fountain - i'm in love

 I can afford the two bed... but with breaking even financially, is it even worth the move?

New Fountain -  walk in pantry!!, 2 pools (1 adult only), gym, AND DOGPARK

income: $3087 + 175 = 3262 = 3260

$1085 rent

$55 internet 

$120 utilities -- might be electric heat? (says i have to pay trash but there are dumpsters)

$271 loan --> pay it back with student loan (could be until May that i even see financial aid)

$120 (25, 40, 50) credit 

$35 payment for flight up there to look at apartments. (this is almost paid off)

$70 Joint membership 

$235 car payment

$90 car insurance 

$370 health insurance through marketplace

$117 student loans (current is $170 but it will be redone in May; i applied for SAVE program)

$200 groceries 

$90 pets

$20 subscriptions ($9 hulu, $7 pandora, $1 cloud space)

$80 gas (7 min drive to work; 20 min bike)

$75 savings 

$50 Roth IRA

----------------------------

2777 = 2800 --- closer to wok, pool, gym, tennis court, and small storage - plus Louis in the office is queer and wants to be friends!

ridge

 I don't think i'm going to go with the upgrade. I just have this nagging feeling. But I have until tomorrow to sign the lease so lets see what else I can find. 

The Ridge - same company - 1 bedroom; a lot smaller

income: $3087 + 175 = 3262 = 3260

$1060 rent

$30 internet -- address qualifies for the discount internet like present. 

$90 utilities -- water included; 50-60 MGE; 50-60 gas heat in winter; 10 trash

$271 loan --> pay it back with student loan (could be until May that i even see financial aid)

$120 (25, 40, 50) credit 

$35 payment for flight up there to look at apartments. (this is almost paid off)

$70 Joint membership 

$235 car payment

$90 car insurance 

$370 health insurance through marketplace

$117 student loans (current is $170 but it will be redone in May; i applied for SAVE program)

$200 groceries 

$90 pets

$20 subscriptions ($9 hulu, $7 pandora, $1 cloud space)

$80 gas (10 min drive to work; 15 min bike)

$75 savings 

$50 Roth IRA

$60 storage unit

-------------------------------------------------------

2547 --- hell yes. 

even if its $100 more I can swing it comfortably. 

I would be losing a lot of space; nearly half; but I can put the guest bed, my sentimentals, my costuming, extra coffee table, and my camping stuff all in storage. I looked into the space and I can fit everything i need there. 

I have a better feeling about this one than I do the 2 bed for 1200. 

upgrade

 after viewing the apartment ..... i would definitely want the upgraded one if i can. the lowest tier didn't have a dw or disposal which were major selling points. And honestly that carpet was so warn down and it had a weird smell.

lets test some numbers:

income: $3087 + 175 = 3262 = 3260

$1200 Rent

$30 internet -- address qualifies for the discount internet like present. 

$90 utilities ([50-60] MG&E electric, portal: trash [10]& gas [50-60 in winter], pest [5 if needed])

$271 loan --> pay it back with student loan (could be until May that i even see financial aid)

$120 (25, 40, 50) credit 

$35 payment for flight up there to look at apartments. (this is almost paid off)

$70 Joint membership 

$235 car payment

$90 car insurance 

$370 health insurance through marketplace

$117 student loans (current is $170 but it will be redone in May; i applied for SAVE program)

$200 groceries 

$90 pets

$20 subscriptions ($9 hulu, $7 pandora, $1 cloud space)

$90 gas (only 6 min from work!! Might be able to get it even lower tbh) 

$75 savings 

$ 6 laundry (coin operated - 1.50 per load)

$50 Roth IRA

-------------------------------------------------------

2743 = 2750... almost 300 wiggle room BEFORE any bonus pay. 

If i'm spending $120-$130 in gas each month traveling 240 (to see mom) plus 129 (32 miles 4 times a week to work) for 4 weeks = 756 miles a month for $130 in gas each month. 

If i lived 6 minutes/3 miles away instead of 16.7 miles away.... I could get like 1 tank of gas to last almost 2 weeks, plus seeing mom, so like... 2.5 tanks a month maybe? thats like $90 in gas. 

so with the lowering of gas and student loan repayment, and making sure i actually turn off electrical stuff if i'm not using it I can afford the nicer apartment WITH some wiggle room. Theres like no parking for guests so that will be a treat to figure out, but the walls didn't seem that thin, it had an indoor hallway with locking doors for entry - meaning its safe, heated, and less chance of burglary... the reviews have been very favorable of management and maintenance. 

- kitchen is smaller but with a dining room area it gives additional space for coffee nook, pantry shelving, and deep freeze. 

- living room will comfortably fit the couch, coffee table, and book shelves.

- guest room will comfortably fit the bed, desk, second coffee table, otoman, and storage needs. 

- main bedroom will comfortably fit everything i currently have in my bedroom. 

- additional storage in basement for my tires. 

- bathroom is quite small; it may be too snug to fit the shelving i have however it has under sink storage AND A BATHTUB. 

- upgraded appliances: disposal, dishwasher, flat top stove all stainless steel

- upgraded flooring: no carpet = get a swiffer & a roomba, the floor is even there so easy clean

- upgraded kitchen counters and cabinets

- dumpsters <3

I would def be comfortable having people over and would be able to put up my decorations. (the walls are too hard here, i need actual screws and nails. there i just need thumbtakcs)

Honestly the upgraded portion makes me think of my apartment back in NC if it was just a tad bit nicer. 

it doesn't have a lot of space for snow, greenery wise. at all. theres a little bit of greenery between the buildings, i could also walk 15 min and get to some parks/walking trails.