physics work 2

Force of gravity=(G*mass1*mass2)/radius^2 

Assume that you have a mass of 45.0 kg and Earth has a mass of 5.97 × 1024 kg. The radius of Earth is 6.38 × 106 m. What is the force of gravitational attraction between you and Earth? Use G = 6.67 × 10-11 N·m2/kg2. G = 6.67 x 10^-11 mass 1: 45 mass 2: 5.97 x 10^24 radius: 6.38x10^6 (6.67 x 10^-11) x (45)x(5.97 x 10^24) = 1.7918955 x 10^16/ (6.38x10^6)^2  =440.221573098

moving on (jake)

So…. i finally brought myself to unfriend jake on Facebook.

i know thats might not seem like a big deal… but for me it is.

I tried to reach out and fix it with jake  - he shut me down. fine.
its clear he no longer has any desire to be friends. fine.


i haven't brought myself to delete his number and i don't think i can delete the pictures i have of us together…

they are happy memories.

but right now as much as i thought i had moved on… i thought of jake the other day and about burst into tears.

the asshole doesn't know what he did to me.
he doesn't know how he destroyed my confidence.
how i cried for hours.
he doesn't know.

and its to late for me to tell him… but one day, i want to.

LOLOLOLOL

if only i had thought of this sooner:

i should have taken all the links to the blog pots i had made about him - there are MANY- and told him "read them asshole". then i could honestly move on.

i think i could move on and let go of al my pain if i got everything off my chest.

but thats not gonna happen, to much time has passed for me to be able to do that without looking absolutely pathetic.

but i still harbor so much anger and hurt and pain from him. and he doesn't even know it.

he doesn't know my heart aches whenever i think about how he only dated me because he was bored and lonely and how he thought i was doing the same.
he basically broke up with me because he was no longer bored and lonely enough to date me because he found another girl.

well, i need to move on.
i've started to.
slowly.
no longer friends on Facebook.
no more reminders in my newsfeed.
i'm moving on.
its a start.

oh yeah

ooooooh yeah... Christine slept with Erik. she cheated on Roul "one night many years ago"......shame shame shame... Cristof is got to be Phantom's kid.

or?

did it happen before Roul came?

i can't tell =.=

it had to have been after...
she was too afraid during POTO. but at the end she came back and it was clear that she was sad to leave him... so maybe she - no she had to have come back AFTER...

...christine you dumbass... why would you let Erik see your son..... REALLY? DUMBASS.
"come and meet a friend" NO. "GO TO YOUR ROOM" is what you should have said. now your son is in danger. dumbass!

annndd i have to get off computer: so i ended at 18:26

one month

Oh - i've been with Mary for a month! so today is our official one month anniversary. i can't see her today or this weekend, but i can see her for a short time on thursday :)

trigger

alright, so ifound out the trigger of my exhaustion: my period. thats why i'm getting to tired.

also i need to tink of some positive things about me staying at home and going to ECU...

so:

woolard
tennis with my girls
mrs. strathy
mrs. herrera
the spiritual teacher that i have yet to go see
i can still see mary
smokey.

and i just need to try to focus less on the negatives...like having to put up with Cara for another year...
and i'm going to stop there, because the list is longer than the positives and i need to stop thinking about it.

tired

so last night i slept amazingly... despite going to sleep with a head ache.... and how the headache has been comming off and on today... now it hurts so bad... i want to rip my right eye and the right side of my head OFF.

after lunch exhaustion set in.

i am so tired...

tired of hiding how upset i am.

• how upset i am that i can't go to agnes... 
• AND according to my mom if i go to agnes next year - i have to start paying back the loans i took to go to ECU.... so i have to contune to go to ECU unless i want to start paying off three thousand dollars in loans...
• how stressed and upset i am that i'm graduating in 33 school days.
• just how upset i am in general... the exhaustion isn't helping.
• on top of that thoughts about jake have ben coming up. which doesn't do ANY good for my mood.
• work.

ugh... i'm just ... i'm tired.

and i'm tired of this FUCKING HEADACHE.

Love never dies act 1

sooooooooooo….

even now the musical is so good. i'm only 10 minutes into it.


and..

YOUTUBE KEEPS BUFFERING…. ARRRGG…. >:(

gimmie my musical!! <3

THE MONKEY FROM THE MUSIC BOX <3 <3 :D


Coney Island…. looks freaky awesome.

…whut…MEG GIRY…. MEEEG?????????

meg :3


Mr. Y's Phantasma….. hhhhhhmmmmmm….

ah madame giry…. good to see you.

so the Girys have been with the Phantom….
it seemed they feared him and now the support him.
interesting.

…..youtube needs to buffer….

sweet meg <3

…. Roul is an ass….. what happened to the sweet and loving and kind man?

love…regret… Does Christine regret choosing Roul? well, with the way he treats her and their son i can understand.  annndd i finished part one :3

Lover never dies

sequel to The Phantom of The Opera <3 <3 <3

i have all the parts here <3

And the whole thing with español subtitles!

graduation count down

34 School days until GRADUATION….

SHOOT ME NOW.

DO It.

SHOOT MEEEEEEEEE.


NOOOOO
 I'M NOT READYF OR THIS.

physics class

…. i love this song….so fitting right now.. xD

peter pan

I WANNA WATCH PETER PAN RIGHT NOW DAMMIT.
DAGNABIT.

me:

but i'm in school…. in PHYSICS… so this is me:

._.

._.

why do i blog so much?
why am i in such a bad mood?
why do i want to watch peter pan right now?(the cartoon - though the live action one isn't bad)
why do i want to roast everybody and breathe fire?

(hehe..i made another funny...)

Mary Blog

and Mary dagnabit if you don't update your blog girl!!!! :P

(hehehehehe… i made another movie reference)

dragonlady

Back at school…

people. ew. no. stahp. peasants.
i'm going to ECU - officially

didn't sleep worth shit.

bad hair day.

spring break sucked.

and to top it off?

i'm on the rag and ready to breathe actual fire.

i'm serious… i want to breath fire and roast EVERYBODY.

(hehe…i made a funny….gods i love disney...)

Job

okay, let me explain something.

i don't hate my job.
its slowly growing on me....

i don't dislike doing the work.
i actually kind of like it,

i don't like what it means for my life though.

doing the work isn't the issue.

its what i am missing while i'm doing the work... that is what i hate.

but the people i meet, i like that.

like today i realized something.

There is a guy that i have seen a few times now. He is a bit deformed and shy.
when i see him in my line i smile and talk to him and make sure not to stare and gawk and treat him any different. (well...i smile more) and he came in twice today.

when i saw hinm and checked him out the first time he seemed very happy and i could tell i made him smile :)

the second time was when i was closing my lane and he had to go to another one... he was a little sad.

I look forward to seeing him now :)

^ that is something i enjoy.

joking around with some of the customers.
that is something i enjoy.

but missing out on being a teenager? being a kid and being social for the very limited amount of time i have left in highschool?
that is something i hate.

so i don't hate the job. i like it.
i hate what i am missing out on while i'm at the job.

scholarships

FUCKING DAMIT!!!!

ALL THE SCHOLARSHIPS I APPLIED FOR AD SUCH THAT ASKED FOR A SCHOOL, I PUT AGNES SCOTT. NOW THAT I'M GOING TO ECU WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO???? UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH

adulthood

this is me.
basicing in adulthood.
the wonderful world of adults.

eating potatoe salad for lunch.
then going to work.
wjile my entire family gets to go swimming.
and be outside ona beautiful day.

i get to stand for the next 6.5 hours.
try not to screw up.
fake a smile and small talk.
then come home starving and cranky and tired.

then i will have an entire week of school.
then do it all over again.

yay.
adulthood is so much fun....


really? bitch please.

what is so great about being an adult?
you work. - yeah..... not so great.
sex - no thank you.
you can drink - no thank you.
drive - eh... nahh
freedom - what freedom? you work all day to make money that will be only be taken from you. you can't do what you want. honestly i had more freedom already before any of this. childhood and early adolescence is freedom. adulthood is slavery.
._.

honestly, my mom said being an adult sucks most of the time.

SO WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?????

life without fun and enjoyment is not actually living. it surviving.
that is exactly how i dread and do NOT want my life to be like.
that is exactly what my life will be like for (AT LEAST) the next 4 months .

fucking perfect.

live it up you guys.

fuck me.

DAMN IT!!!! JUST FUCKING DAMN IT ALL! GODS WHY??????????
 the pretty much onyl fun thing i get to do for spring break i can't do. BECAUSE I HAVE TO FUCKNG WORK.


i'm not going to lie, i am so pissed off i'm crying right now.

i was looking forward to tomorrow so fucking much.

i fucking hate this!!!!!!!

i'm not going to be able to have a life!!!
school all week. work on weekend. school. work. school. work.

that is so fucking depressing.


no hanging out with friends.
no social life.
no fun.

fuck me.

i am so fucking disappointed.

nobody talk to me.

Beltane

April's showers have given way to rich and fertile earth, and as the land greens, there are few celebrations as representative of fertility as Beltane. Observed on May 1st (or October 31 - November 1 for our Southern Hemisphere readers), festivities typically begin the evening before, on the last night of April. It's a time to welcome the abundance of the fertile earth, and a day that has a long (and sometimes scandalous) history.

basially its the time the lord and the lady are together and.... well its a time to celbrate fertility!!! which means......bonfires and sex haha XD

but thats only a part of how you celebrate it. 

anyway its comming up so i wanted to post about it :P

here is a link for more:
http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/beltanemayday/a/AllAboutBeltane.htm

retellings

so i love reading a retelling/spinn-off of famous and well known stories...

kinda like how "Ash" by Malinda Lo was a retelling of Cinderella (WITH FARIES and a lesbian twist!)

LOOK AT THESE. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL
http://evemariemont.com/books.html

andd these:
http://www.epicreads.com/blog/an-epic-chart-of-162-young-adult-retellings/

MORE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (and fairytale) RETELLINGS <3 omg!!! its a series too <3
http://www.authorjennijames.com/books.html

yes.

today

well today is all bbut over.


Mary (the gf)  is in the hospital - psychiatric wing.

and i had my first day of work/training.

and it was terrifying and exilerating and i actually kind og enjoyed it.
but as soon as it was over i was exhausted. i only did the cash register for 2 and a half hours.
tomorrow i do it for like....7.

i don't want t go back.
i can already tell it is going to make me feel worse.
it is going to make me more tired.
more grouchy.
more trapped.

my childhood ended today.
socially speaking.
i still have my virginity so technically i still have a part of my childhood in tact.

but yeah..... my childhood ended today and i have started the first day of the rest of my life.

i remember thiking how everything changed after i started school. both racheal, cara, and i all became more moody and angry and just....changed after the first day of kindergarden.

it was a mile stone that changed all of us for the negative. it was the beginning of our cage. the first introduction a little kid had to the expectations of the world.

well.... this is that all over again.

and i already feel the change happening.
the cage is starting to shut.

"freedom" is coming... but it is even less freedom than i have now.

today was the first day to the rest of my life.
and i hated it.

yeah...

so tomorrow is my first day of actual work. 1:30 - 7:30...

i'm nervous...like...i'm gonna puke nervous.

night.

don't even.

gods i am in such a bad mood.

i don't want to talk to anyone. i don't want to see anyone.

nobody talk to me. nobody touch me. don't even breathe near me lest i breath fire and roast you alive.

uuuuuughggghghhgd

i need a rage room.

punhing bags. glass. breakable stuff. and a baseball bat.

i want to be out of this house and do somethign.

but i don't want to do anything.
i don't want to be with anyone.

i just want to break shit.

ugh.

why is ECU so fucking confusing?
the website is confusing.
\the email is confusing.

jeeze do they struggle with organizations and composition?

i swear the email makes me feel claustrophobic it is so  tight and squeezed together and arranged oddly.
and you know its bad when you have to google something to find it on the website...

Agnes is just so straight forward when it comes to navigation :/

too fuckig bad i can't go to agnes. damn money. i hate how money dictats the world. it decides what you can and cannot do. it dictates where you can and cannot go. it dictates what you can and cannot learn.

the world has a dictator. its called money.

i hate it.

God's Not Dead

so i went and saw God's not dead.

whoever told me it wasn't a preachy movie....LIED.

it wasn't a bad movie.

but it was soooooooooo religious......

now if i ever saw this happen or if it ever happened to me?

i would have written on the paper (if assigned to write " God Is Dead"):

"The gods are NOT dead." signed it. and handed it over.

if i was then  asked to defend myself i would say

"asking me to convince you is like asking you to convince me. we are both set in our beliefs, so what is the point. i refuse to abandon my gods and you refuse to believe in them. can we move on?"

and if i were in that class i would have backed the christian kid up. i may not be a christian but i do believe thier god is real and bashing of any religion is wrong.

panic

so may first is like 10 days away right?
i don't find out if i got the scholarship until we go back to school.
that scholarship was my deciding factor.
i emailed my school councilor.
now what do i do?
panic.
definitely panic.

shadow

so there is a stray kitten outside our hiuse that "followed" cara home one day. He is the sweetest thing.. healthy and adorable. we don't know how old he is, but we know he is less than a year old.

well i might have found a home for him..... cara walked in on my taking a picture of him  to send to my friend and now is mad at me for "trying to get rid of " her cat.

cara has already been pissy with me for over a month. add this on? fun.... but you know what? screw her.

i already talj as little to her as possible, and will continue to do that.

i am douing the right thing for this cat. he needs  home.

pre-prom

ok so my mom picked me up from school early :)

we went to the dollar store and ended up buying some fake nails for me and some new make-up.


my hair is maybe half a shade lighter, but you know what? idc.


so now i'm all dolled up, in make-up jewelry, nails done.... in my senior sweatpants, bra, and open button down white shirt.... and you know what? i feel down right sexy! :3


aaaaaand.... i tnk i'm gonna go eat some chocolate covered Pretzels <3.

movies i have to see

most of these are not out yet, some are

my question about this one ^ is…. didn't the red hair kill professor X in the third Xman movie?

oh.

MAYBE this movie ^ MAYBE. idk. it looks like a torture movie.. idk if i could watch it.

now i only kinda want to see ^… i hear it is amazing and thats why i'll go see it… that and i'm curious how it ends. but i'm really not into religious preaching movies...but i have been assured it isn't one... we'll see.


i also really want to see Dracula Untold, but it doesn't have a trailer out yet.

OH MY GOSH THIS IS BASED OFF THE "The Last Apprentice"BOOKS! i used to LOVE THEM

get ready

so all the things i need to of to get ready for prom today….

• feed the cats - 10 minutes
• get in the shower and get my fusia colored hair (that was blood red… but faded thanks to Dawn dish soap) to turn into a dust or flamingo/bubble-gum pink. - 15-30 minutes
• blow-dry my hair - 5 - 10 minutes
• Paint my nails - 10-15 minutes
• do my make-up - 5-10 minutes
• get something to eat - 10-15 minutes
• put my dress on - 2-5 minutes
• possible nap?

so i get home at 4:15…. 

4:15 + 30 = 4:45 +10 = 4:55 + 10 = 5:05 +15 = 5:20 + 5 = 5:25 + 10 = 5:35….

yeah no time for a nap…

last night the second hair dye "flamingo pink"… came out blood red. whut. so i used dawn dishsoap multiple times to get it to a fusia…. which when it was that color, it was past midnight. so i went to bed. 

slept like crap. uuuugh. 

*worried*

its the night before my senior prom and i am worried.

i've tried to dye my newly bleached hair.....and it didn't stick. so now i'm using a new and darker dye... its 11:14...

• i'm keeping my mom up
• i put the dye in my hair this time and not my mom
• i'm worried it will look horrible
• by the time it finishes it will be midnight.
• i'm not going to get much sleep tonight....

goddess PLEASE let this dye hold...and PLEASE let it look okay......

this is mean but: HA.

this is mean and i know karma is going to get e for it….  but: HA.

Kayla wanted to use the wrong information yesterday…. wanted to just say that everything is Linear when it wasn't (physics graph) and i found a line of best fit that actually hits the majority of the point… THE TEACHER EVEN SAID THAT MINE WAS BETTER.

so kayla? shut the fuck up you controlling bitch, you are not always right. HA.

granted mine isn't perfect - but it is better.

I am so tired of her thinking that if something isn't HER idea then it is is wrong. If it isn't her decision then it isn't a good one.

Now i do believe she has a migraine and is starting to pout because i didn't do what she said and i actually went and did it self and that mine was better than hers.

This time? i was right and the group will benefit from me disobeying her.

Honestly i just want out of this group because i want away from her.


She sin't as bad as Cara… but she really brings out the worst in me. at least in this class.
In math she is only irritating… in here i want to just punch her in the face.

physics work

Find KE, PE, W and P

a. for 10kg mass
   height of 20 m
   v = 0
   a= 0
   t=10s

KE = 1/2 mass x velocity squared = 5 x 0 = 0J
PE = mass x gravity  height = 10 x 9.8 x 20 = 1960 J
W = force x displacement = m x a x d = 10 x 0 x 20 = 0J
P = work/time = 0/10s = 0Watts

b. height 10
   v = 10
   a = 2
   t = 10
  d=10

KE = 1/2 mass x velocity squared = 1/2 x 10 x 10 = 500J
PE = mass x gravity x height = 10x 9.8 x 10 = 980 J
W = 10 x 2 x 10 = 200J
P = 200/10 = 20 watts

hmm

I just realized i miss Mary.

I spoke to her a little bit on sunday…

i've been pretty much checking her blog almost every time i get on a computer…

and then i thought i smelled her yesterday.

i miss her. huh.

Physics equations for energy

Kinetic Energy = 1/2mass x velocity^2  - KE - J
Potential Energy = gravitational (mass x gravity x height)  - PE - J
force = mass x acceleration - F
Work = force x displacement -W - J
power = work x time - W - W(atts)
momentum = mass x velocity - symbol is P - no units
quantity of motion / momentum = force
impulse = force x time -  symbol is J - N/sec.
momentum = impulse

smell

i'm here in physics right?
and i swear i just smelt Mary (gf mary not aunt mary). Someone walked by - idk who- and i swear i smelt her…. i still do… its sooooo weird. i didn't smell her before O-o

I said it.

I finally said it out loud to someone other than my SG. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to graduate.
I'm not ready to go to college.
I'm not ready to grow up….

My mom was joking and said she didn't want to know what Racheal and Kyle did behind closed doors ad she really didn't want to know what i did behind closed doors…. and when i said "honestly, nothing. i don't do anything behind closed doors. at all." she said "thats sad…"

why don't i do anything behind closed doors?
i'm not ready.

I'm not ready for any of this.

I'm 18 for crying out loud!
I know in today's society that means i'm basically grown, but in my head i'm still a kid! I feel like i'm like 15/16… i don't feel grown and i don't want to be grown.

Why do human bodies have to mature so quickly? I'm not grown!!

I'm not ready!!!

this is my life right now.

piratefest

ECU's Piratefest is soo cool :3 i watched pirate sword fight. I got to swoon into a pirate's arms. There was music. there was costumes. there was facepaint and henna and clothes and just awesomesauce.

Hannibal S2Ep7 reactions

OMIGOSH ITS STARTING.....

MIRIUMMMMMM

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING...."its not him" WHAAT!!!?


Hannibal..what did you do to the poor girl....

"i have no intention of ending up on his menu"... LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL remember that line Chilton...

"why did hannibal not just kill you" "Cuz he wants to be my friend." yup.


yaay will is free :)

Chilton... you disgust me. but you are smart.

hhhmmm..... Hannibal nice save "if you kill me and i you are wrong, then you kill an innocent man... if i am the ripper and you kill me then who will answer your questions".


...wut...

Hannibal in chilton's house.... and he goes to the door? wut?hannibal...wut?

seriously... Chilton... go to Jack. just go to Jack.... you look guilty... confess your innocence.

and then jack shoots at you. you took him by surprise asking him to kill you ...probably saved your own life.

WHAT THE HELL!!! CHILTON DOESN'T DIE YET...WTFFFFFFFF???????

"i have to dealw ith you....and my feeling for you..." HannibalxWill fan girls everywhere are flipping out...

NO. CHILTON DOESN'T DIE UNTIL HANNIBAL ESCAPES. HE EATS CHILTON. WTF IS THIS SHIT. NBC YOU PISS ME THE FUCK OFF.

AND THATS THE END OF THE EPISODE AND I'M PISSED.

:3

Hannibal S2E6 reactions

last one of the night....god si'm hungry...

OH MY GOD. WILL IS HELPING JACK SOLVE THE RIPPER CASE BY ASKING THE SAME QUESTIONS HANNIBAL LATER ASKS CLARICE TO SOLVE BUFFALO BILL. IN THE SAME TONE OF VOICE.


oooh~~~~~ dinner party <3

this time Jack will be paying attention....i can appreciate the presentation of this first kill.

Hannibal you hipocrit! :P are you really that messed up about will trying to kille you....or are you proud of him....OOOOOOHHHH HE SAID DINNER PARTY....and more ripper kills...connections. connections.

connections connection....

i fear Will has lost himself and found his strength in his quest to stop Hannibal.....



will is now growing the antlers...thats not a good sign.




LOLOOLOL Hannibal basically says he is proud of Will. heheheheh..

"I think you are more in control than you have ever been"....this is true....Will is not confused or scared... Hannibal has given Will.... structure and strength......and shaped him to be a killer...


orderlys get revenggge


oh yes dinner party guests, eat up....

LOLOLOL Chilton just cracked me up...
"darwinism, ...i don't want to be seen as a threat"

uh-oh....is hannibal about to hit on Bloom? O_o o_O...go boy!!!
SHE IS THE ONE PUTTING ON THE MOVE


mhm.... they had some fun...

oh no...he's wiping her glass.... hes going to kill bloom!!! D:

er...he kills Giddeon and not bloom?

he didn't kill either of them?


lol funeral sex... xD


OH MY WORD HANNIBAL HAS THE SAMURAI ARMOR ANS SWORD.....nicely done NBC....


HANNIBAL NO..... you really cut off Giddeon's leg and you're feeding it to him...thats just wrong... *she says while grinning*


Jack's first little pet agent - Merium-was supposedly killed by the ripper....guess who is still a live? yup. so she can tell Jack about Lecter.... aaaaaand i have to wait till tomorrow night to see it.

Hannibal S2 EP5 reactions

i'm queezy...i want someone to hold my hand LOL this show is intense...and it usually doesn't get to me....but i'm alone in the dark....and his dark side is showing...i prefer the sophisticated gentleman....i swear this is prolly the first/second time hannibal has actually SCARED ME.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand..PLAY!
-long pause- "PREVIOUSLY ON HAN-" *pulls earbuds out after jerking like an idiot...




awwww...hannible looks after jack....thats sweet. LOL hannibal plays jack like a violin....

WHAT is reporter ady doing...with a gun....

oh no... its asian lady....

oh.. at the place where jack's favorite person was kille..... double whammy.


i have to admire the... display he put her in... its actually interesting... but still... LECTER IMA SMACK YOU.

Beverly Katze.... that was her name.

Will is going to say it was hannibal Jack.... but will you listen?



good job will. "who is he will"....HE HAS ALREADY TOLD YOU JACK< YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. "Beverly made her connection to the ripper...jack you must do the same".... LOLOLOL aka: i've already told you, you didn't listen. now solve it yourself."

and chilton already knows it lecter and says nothing.  yes will.....play to chilton's pride.... smart...


boys... you won't find her kidneys...they are being eaten...

aww smokey is checking on me :3

hannibal and the other guy...killer... talking. putting on a show..what messages are they conveying... =.=


i'm wondering when he is going to kill that reporter.... he has called her rude several times and i can tell she annoys him.

....i'm hungry....


oooh~ okay so the orderly killed the balif... but someone else killed the judge.... that was hannibal. hands down.
it was so poetic.

this orderly though. what is going on here.  oh. hey guy... i want you to kill hannibal lecter....nooooo biggie....

psh. grahm is getting his admirer killed and pissing lecter off. nooooooot smart.


ahhh Dr.Bloom...he is not so powerless....


oooh...Lecter swims?...not bad...
and then he gets hit with a tranquelizer and sinks like a rock...


lecter's wrists are slit.... does he choose hanging or bleeding out...

how DOES he get out of this?

JACK MOVE YOUR ASS AND SAVE HANNIBAL


damn idk wether to be happy or mad right now... happy for lecter and mad for will...


and now lecter knows will wants him dead...how will he react to this news?

2 more

It is 11:12... i have 2 more episodes... i'm all alone. in the dark. ach episode is like....50 minutes lone counting commercials..

Can i do it? idk...NBC has really stepped up their game this season....


but i'm almost caught up... O_O another episode came on tonigh...meaning i can watch it tomorrow night....

so really i have 3 episodes, but can onlly watch 2... UGH.

i'll watch episode 5 and decide then...well if i see that one then i might as well see both...

*shudders* i have the creeps.

Hannibal S2E4 reactions

this one is about behive bodies...ohhh fun....

DAG NABIT ....LOOOAAAADDDDDD...


oh! its abigail.... a memory?  oh... nope. delusion/mind fishing trip


AWWWWWW HE NAMED HIS BAIT ABIGAIL..... if she cherished him.... he will catch his fish...

Hannibal Lecter has no reason other than his own amusement and curiosity".... truer words have never been spoken... until it comes to clarice... the love enters the equation...

dead bodies generally have no effect on me... but the bees in the body....that triggered the gag reflex juuuuuuuust fine.

iiiiiilk... Chilton is such a creep. ugh. I wonder if he gave lecter indigestion.

look at will being all smart and diabolical.

if bella dies before this season ends, i will be LIVID. LIIIIIIIVIIIIIID. SERIOUSLY.

the idea of suicide makes Bella feel live... the idea of death comforts Lecter.... i can identify with both.

"so often you open your mouth and i hear will's word come out." i love this man
"only by going deep beneath the skin will you find the jey to understanding this killer's pathology" lol Hannibal you're tooting your own horn love... buut then again, you make perfect sense. I feel this is true for most people.

wil i feel like you are signing away your sooul...

hm.... i wonder if chilton would actually help Will if it meant making Lecter look bad....eh... he seems more like the type to try and blackmail lecter.


chilton... WHY would you just blurt out everything.... relly? "we have to stick together".... really?


lolololololol jack is getting high with his wife..

if she kills herself... i sear i may boycot this show (#really#notreally#justpissed)


acupuncture...NUH-UH. I AM NOT WATCHIGN THIS. LABOTOMY. NUH-UH. they are determined to make me gag every episode arent they.... its the pain... or the idea of the pain mostly...


OOOOOOHHHH WILL IS REMEMBERING.... WATCH OUT HANNIBAL...

Okay now its at a point where i'm afraid... of hannibal. seeing the gruesome things he does... its easier to love him when you don't SEE what he does..... then you can brush it to the side... but when you see it through wills eyes...its terrifying.

Jack...Jack....JACK. THAT IS YOUR KILLER. aaaaand she admits to it all...


SHE OVERDOES ON MORPHINE!!!? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO . SHE DIES FROM THE CANCER!!! THIS IS WRONG!!!! THIS IS FUCKING REDICULOUS. FUCKING SHOW COULDN'T KILL BELLA OFF RIGHT! NBC. REALLY. FUCK YOU!!!


bella dies during "silence of the lambs" which is 8 years after will catches lecter....... they killed her over 8 years too soon.....

GOOD MAN LECTER. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU. Ge flips a coin, and it tells him wether or not to bring her back (adrenaline) or let her die.

i honestly... prolly would have let her die.... he did good. good man hannibal.



OH SHIT.

okay so i'm watching this in the dark and i am getting the creeps off and on LOL...

okay back to the show:

OH SHIT. Asian chick is at Lecters house going through his fridge...lecter is headed home from the hospital.... i'm on the edge of my seat and gritting my teeth...

JUST TAKE THE DAMN LIVER AND GET THE HELL OUT

yeah....she HAD to go down farther...she is so dead...and there is lecter....yeah shes gone.

R.I.P. Asian Agent...

sorry i had to...

heheheheheheh :3

Hannibal S2E2 reactions

man...that poor guy...'OH MY GOSH HE JUST TORE ALL THAT SKIN OFF HIMSELF HOLY SHIT.


RUN MAN RUN!!!

damn...

hannibal looks so sad....

the sexy git.

poor will.....

Hannibal might actually feel remorse for what he did to will....

like i say whenever i'm asked or whnever i think about it (because i'm weird) psychopaths aren't emotionless.... they just feel emotions at different levels and at different times than we do. I think after he got through the whole "i wonder what will happen if i do this....and then this?" to "Will is in such a dark place... oh no he could die..."


uh-oh.... Hannibal's shrink is no longer going to be his shrink... i wonder how much she knows....

oooooh? She thinks Hannibal organized the attack on her??? I wonder what all their relationship consisted of... maybe he wanted her all to himself so he got her to leave the rest of her patients... makes sense.

"you are dangerous"....uh...HELL YEAH.

and he has lost yet another person he had grown somewhat attached to...

look at that asian... taking credit for Wills insight....LOL and no one was fooled.


TRUST YOUR GUT JACK. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. WILLLLLLLL ISSSS INNOCAENTTTTT <3


"we didn't have this conversation"...lol.... XD

hannibal can smell the corn rows... damn he is so amazing...lol and he is so proud of himself xD
"see will i can do it too " ^.^

will and hannibal....... talking about the levels of power of friends vs patient-psychiatrist....Hannibal wants them to let together. He wants the power, but he also wants a friend... and yet in this he pushes away everyone around him that he holds dear and ACTUALLY cares about.

Chilton you motherfucker.

UGH WATCHING THIS MAKES ME FLASHBACK TO "Silence Of The Lambs"....SO MUCH SIMILARITIES. I CAN'T. THIS>JUST> UNF.

OMG. JUST AS I THOUGHT.

The guy had history with drugs, thats why he lived!
 :DDDD yaaaay i had a prediction that actually was correct! :D

will...Y U SO SMART!

AAAAAAAAND lecter found the mural. but what will he do with it?

The mural is actually...kind of...beautiful... in a grotesqu sort of way.... but if i look at it as art, like maybe a painting... its beautiful.

"Hello....I Love Your Work"


and once again he watrns a serial killer away...
Gods i love this man.... and oh how he terrifies me....



er..... not so warned away.... he himself was killed and put in the center. SO IT LOOKS LIKE AN EYE. O_O... :O....LECTER YOU CLASSY ARTISTIC BASTARD.

Jack..... stahp. just...stahp.
UGH. STOP IT JACK. STOP DOING DOWN THAT DARK ROAD INSIDE YOUR HEAD.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO........DON'T BELIEVE THE LIIIIESSSS. ALL LIEEEEESSSSSS...


LOL hhannibal too the leg...

call me crazy... but watching him work makes me hungry... it looks good :P

OH GOSH.

Hannibals shrink is talking with Jack.....

good girl.... look after yourself lady shrink.

will your gift amazes me.

Hannibal... are you religious?

and yet so kind.... as you kill him you are gentle... and speak in soothing and almost loving tones. You truly believe you are helping him and his life's purpose.... whoever said you are not capable of compassion does not know you at all.

it actually makes me tear up... thinking how wrong people are... as i have said over and over.... you have emotions.... just placed at different times.

ugh. FBI Lady you are a T total BITCH.
thoughi can see where she is comming from... if he pleads guilty there is no death penalty... only life in an insane asylum with that jackass chilton.


WHAT!! LADY SHRINK TALKING TO WILL!?*leans forward intently*
she basically says she believes will about hannibal doing this to him... but she says that she thinks hannibal did what he thought was best for will.... "tough love.... it wil make him stronger..." stronger so he can accept hannibal?


ugh i love and hate this show so much..... and its only episode 2.... this season will be a roller coaster of feels...

Hannibal S2E3 reactions

whoever this chick is that is investigating Jack... i don't like her.
I also don't like the prosecuting lawyer...

WAY TO GO JACK!!! YOU TELL THEM THE TRUTH!


an ear... someone sent Will the second ear.... i wonder if Hannibal wants will to be freed... he misses will.... he grew to actually care about Will...even if will was his little experiment.

the good thing?


i think Will's brain is not loner infected!! yaaaaay!


ooohhh hannibal how i love and hate you at the same time...

Will's Lawyer is an ass.

LOL everything Frederic is saying about will is actually discribing hannibal xD

ooh~ The judge is dead.... i wonder if an angry hannibal did this.... or Wills secret Admirer....

oh yeah it was Hannibal. "you ignore my effort to save will... fine. i'll get a new judge and new jury. ha."

or... maybe its Dr.Bloom? O_o

hannibal S1Ep1 reaction pt 2

Gosh..... Hannibal why are you such a classy bastard...


see here... there one issue i have with this show. Will was never supposed to be Hannibal's patient. In fact he even says "i wish i could get you on my chair". Will's gift fascinated hannibal....

DAMN he is sexy...

oh, well TECHNICALLY will wasn't Lecter's patient...

FRICKEN COMMERCIALS

okay... not going to lie.... that flash back memory of how hannibal put the ear down his throat...had be gagging.... a lot....


wow...that poor guy...waking up... i wonder if he is supposed to be dead?

so this new killer chooses them by their skin... hmmmmmmmm


and i know hannibal doesn't kill jack.... jack doesn't duie for a long time... after hannibal meets clarice and what not..

hannibal - season 2 ep 1 reactions

Sorry guys i can't think of a title.

i was going to blog about how idk if i ca work at foodlion due to transportion issues... i was going to blog about MAry... but i can't remeber any of it... so.. i'm cathing up on the hannibal episodes i've missed.


HOLY SHIT. DID JACK CRAWFORD JUST KILL HANNIBAL.


i know he hasn't... but DAMN.

aaaaaaaaand jack is dead.


I really wish i knew what song they play.... the hannibal song they always use for him? i love it..


"i never feel guilty about eating anything"... heh...heheheheheheh...heheh...

frderick....OMG IS THAT DR.CHILTON????....HE MKES ME THINK OF CHILTON... the slimey way he talks and he pompous attitude...


will is gifted...i swer he is a psychic. Even locked inside a cage and BEFORE anyone knows about the murder.... he knew.


aaaaaaaaaaand i will continue this reaction blog laterrrr

TENNIS

I GOT TO PLAY TENNISSSSSSSSSS <3

I played tennis yesterday…and even though am so freakin stressed right now (about how to get to work especially…. because my aunt Mary can't give me a ride…racheal can't give me a ride, mom can't give me a ride…) i'm in a good mood :3 and why is that? TENNIS <3

checklist

okay so i know a while ago i made a post about things i would regret if i died today….basically a bucket list.

well i checked 2 things off my list now :)

- seeing A mid-summernight's dream

and i tried to reach out to Jake, to mend our friendship.

so i sent him this yesterday:

Me: so… with the recent stuff happening here at NP (the drug overdoses, the suicide..), its got me thinking. Life is short. And because life is short i'ma just going to say everything now, and then if something were to happen i wouldn't have any regrets.
I miss you. i don't miss the guy i was in love with, i miss my best friend. i miss the guy who was the only one who could get me out of my anti-social moods. Not the guy i hide from on first instinct. miss the guy who could make everything bad in the world fade away for a little while. I miss the guy that could make me laugh over the stupidest stuff and could lift even my worst moods. I miss the guy i could tell anything and just be myself around. I miss the guy that made everything okay. I miss my best friend. i hope this finds you well and have a nice day! ^.^

i just keep flash backing to times when we all hung out and how much fun and happy everything was going. I miss that happiness… i miss hanging out and being idiots/me being an idiot. I miss how awesome you are and how much fun just hanging out with you was.

Jake: Lisa it just sounds like you are in a bad place right now
And you're just trying ti go back to how things were before life started to get hard You have to push through and find your new happiness Nothing happens without reason and you have to let events guide you to the next stage in your life I cant be for you like i used to be Things are different though now In all honesty i think college is going to be the best time in your life you just have to make it there...all the strife you go through now is just roadblock before you can get to a place you can be truly happy

Now…I didn't reply to him…. but my first thought "Oh…i will be happy alright". 

I just wanted to try to mend that bridge before i go, IF i go. 

He basically shut me down…. oh well i tried.

Bonus Track

Prayer by Hayley Westrena 

Let your arms enfold us

Through the dark of night

Will your angels hold us

Till we see the light

Hush, lay down your troubled mind

The day has vanished and left us behind

And the wind - whispering soft lullabies

Will soothe - so close your eyes

Let your arms enfold us

Through the dark of night

Will your angels hold us

Till we see the light

Sleep, angels will watch over you

And soon beautiful dreams will come true

Can you feel spirits embracing your soul

So dream while secrets of darkness unfold

Let your arms enfold us

Through the dark of night

Will your angels hold us

Till we see the light

I wanted to add this song because i feel like Mama would have prayed for her children and family to God and to Big Walter after finding out about the money. This song just makes me think that her prayer may have gone like this. 

Closing Credits

Tomorrow will be kinder -n the secret sisters

Black clouds are behind me, I now can see ahead

Often I wonder why I try hoping for an end

Sorrow weighs my shoulders down

And trouble haunts my mind

But I know the present will not last

And tomorrow will be kinder

Tomorrow will be kinder

It's true, I've seen it before

A brighter day is coming my way

Yes, tomorrow will be kinder 

Today I've cried a many tear

And pain is in my heart

Around me lies a somber scene

I don't know where to start

But I feel warmth on my skin

The stars have all aligned

The wind has blown, but now I know

That tomorrow will be kinder

Tomorrow will be kinder

I know, I've seen it before

A brighter day is coming my way

Yes, tomorrow will be kinder

A brighter day is coming my way

Yes, tomorrow will be kinder

I chose this song because it gives hope. It leads the viewers/readers to believe that there will be happier times and the worst is behind everyone. Even after such a hard hit, losing the money, the Youngers will persevere. I feel like this song is the perfect fit to the ending of the play. It would begin to play when Mama is left alone to look around the apartment and would lead in the credits after she leaves the room with her plant the everything goes dark. The song is basically a "Happily Ever After". 

Track 12: Aftermath

Get it Right by Glee Cast

What have I done?

I wish I could run,

Away from this ship going under

Just trying to help

Hurt everyone else

Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions

Keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

Can I start again, with my faith shaken?

Cause I can’t go back and undo this

I just have to stay and face my mistakes,

But if I get stronger and wiser, I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,

And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair!

Yeah, I’ll send out a wish, yeah, I’ll send up a prayer

And finally someone will see how much I care

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?

To get it right?

I chose this song because i think it sums up how Walter feels after Willy betrayed him. Walter had every good intentions. He wanted to move up in the world. He wanted to be able to buy his wife nice things. He wanted to be able to support his son and give him the life he never had. He wanted to make Mama proud and show Beneatha that he could be successful too. But it all went wrong. And now he has to face them all. He has to find a way to fix it, even at the cost of his pride. 

Track 11: Willy

Angesl by Within Temptation

Sparkling angel

I believe

You are my saviour

In my time of need

Blinded by faith

I couldn't hear

All the whispers

The warning's so clear

I see the angels

I'll lead them to your door

There is no escape now

Now mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart

Deceived me right from the start

You showed me dreams

I wished they'd turn to real

You broke the promise

And made me realise

It was all just a lie

Sparkling angel

Couldn't see

Your dark intentions

Your feelings for me

Fallen angel

Tell me why?

What is the reason?

The thorn in your eye

I see the angels

I'll lead them to your door

There is no escape now

No mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember

The smile when you tore me apart

Could have been forever

Now we have reached the end

This world may have failed you

It doesn't give the reason why

You could have chosen

A different path of life

The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart

Deceived me right from the start

You showed me dreams

I wished they'd turn in to real

You broke a promise

And made me realise

It was all just a lie

Could have been forever

Now we have reached the end

Although the title of this song my be misleading, it is a song about betrayal. The song is a message to someone who came under the disguise of a friend, who lied and then betrayed the singer.  There are several lines that stick out to me and are the main reason why i chose this song. "Deceived me right from the start/

You showed me dreams/I wished they'd turn to real/You broke the promise/And made me realize

/it was all just a lie" and " Sparkling Angel/Couldn't See/your dark intentions." Willy came as a beacon of hope for Walter. Willy brought a way for Walter's dream of becoming something ans supporting his family to become a reality. Then he took off and left Walter without a second thought, ripping his dreams to shreds.