Checking in
I'm not dead.
I'm moving into my new place in a week!
I may or may not have a date/meet up? With a familiar name.... Ash W. Way back in highschool I almost stole her from her bf. We had a flirtationship for a few weeks and whether or not I end up seeing her more often or not... its still nice to have someone to flirt with right now. Pleasant distraction.
Also notes for myself about "casual dating" as I begin to understand what that means...
1. Communication is key - state your intentions right away... makes sense.
2. Set boundaries and keep them - this is a way to keep it casual... not seeing them more than ___ many times a week, etc.... makes sense.
3. See multiple people -... Idk about this one. especially if things are physical? like... um..
4. "Know your worth" - this one is a means to deal with jealousy I think? I don't get this one tbh.
5. Keep it off social media - okay yeah i get this one. no point in posting people if its just casual.
6. Be on the same page (especially about sex) - *ptseradactyl screech*
7. don't chat often - this rule says only reach out when you want to make plans; don't send good morning or good night texts or chat about your day; "thats when it turns into friends with benefits"... ... ... ... huh?
8. Steer clear of anyone from work or school - ... totally. That could get messy.
9. Check ins - periodically check in to make sure no one is catching feelings - ... this is also one i'm nervous about.
10. Communication about other partners... the level of info shared is up to you. - yeah idk how much info I want to share or have shared with me other than if they are not practicing safe sex.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a6445/frustrating-things-casual-dating/
here's another one
"Generally speaking, casual dating describes:
- something more defined than “friends with benefits” or hookups
- connections that involve some degree of emotional attachment
- situations that lack relationship labels
- attachments you pursue for fun, not commitment"
well that negates the first article's #7 rule right?
So whats the difference between casually dating someone and casual sex?
"Unlike FWB and hookup situations, casual dating generally operates with relationship-like parameters, even if they’re loosely defined.
People who are casually dating typically:
- say “dates,” not “hangouts” or “chilling”
- text or call each other fairly regularly
- make firm plans and communicate when you need to cancel
- enjoy spending nonsexual time together
Sure, you might have sex. For many people, that’s part of the fun of casual dating. But you can certainly date without sex."
okay so THIS lines up with how i thought casual dating was... but this completely goes against the first article.
I like this article much better... it provides more information, more depth to the information provided, and answers more questions.
https://www.healthline.com/health/casual-dating
okay so in my mind.... there are 3 different "casual" areas/classifications..I think?
- Fuck Buddy/ FB: someone with no emotional attachment, someone you only hook up with and thats it (thats not for me fam)
- Friends with Benefits/ fwb: an actual friendship that can involve physical intimacy of varying levels
- casual dating: light hearted emotional attachment that is romantic in nature but not for a long term or serious commitment.. usually non monogamous. involves varying degrees of emotional and physical intimacy.
FB = not for me, nah nah nah.
fwb = Viking Man. maybe: Kasey? Chandler?
casual dating: ... Ash W? Kasey?
lord idk.
is it okay to talk often and send sweet messages? not okay? Its just flirting right?
LAWWWWWD
I just want to be able to find someone I can hang out with flirtatiously, get kisses and active cuddles, but also enjoy hanging out with and bringing them around my friends. Without the expectation of being totally in love and envisioning a future together.
