confirmation

so... had a chat with a death deity. confirmation: that car accident in January was the one that would have killed me.

so now i'm stuck here for another 20 years.

since the car accident already happened, idk how i'm goign to go out, but its not gonna happen (or there be a chance of it happening) for another 20 years.

so you guys who read this can rest easy (all 3 of you) while i sulk.

job interview

So.... the other night i somehow lost $100 from the store safe. I don't know how. It went missing sometime between 8-10. but it happened.
 i then had a panic attack later that night/morning at like 3am.

i've been super stressed ever since moving into the office. i have had more panic attacks since the move than i have in a while. my stress levels are way too high.

so on impulse i decided to apply to a job posting looking for  receptionist. IT was impulse and i didn't expect to hear anything. they responded this morning and asked me to come in and fill out a paper application. I did. Met the hiring manager, and didn't expect to hear back.

10 minutes later he calls me and asks me a few questions. why was i leaving y current job/what did i mean when i said that "retail wasn't for me". I explained that working customer service was great but the dealing with such large amounts of physical money caused too much stress because when i make mistakes i tend to beat myself up over it.

he then asked me when i would be available for an interview.

guess who has an interview for a full time receptionist job.


let it be known that i don't think i will actually get it due my being in school, but who knows. I know i'm going to rock the interview, but am prepared to hear about scheduling conflicts.

I feel so guilty for even applying, and now going to an interview, because we are so short staffed at the store. but at the same time, somethings got to give. I can't be having panic attacks every other time i close the store.

there is no guarantee that i will get the job... no harm in applying.... no harm in going to interview.

Update

So we move in on the 22nd. The deposit has been payed. I still need to pay the pet fee, but they didn't put that on the portal through which we are paying so I have to ask about that. Since hallies money for rent is coming from a lawyer we still have to figure out how we are paying for rent, see if we can set it up so that we each just pay half or if there is a way that they can give me her half and I pay. I might have to give her my half and she pays.

I also need to make sure electric and internet get set up on Friday, so that both are working on Saturday when we move in. Hallie will just have to pay me back for half.

It's getting so close and I'm feeling more nervous.. but excited. I will be on my own which means I can start practicing my craft again. And growing in my spirituality.

Finally

WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!!! All is going to be well.

apartment hunting... me and hallie!!

so that plan fell through. but hallie went and canceled her dorm room, so now we HAVE to find something before august.  Or something we can move into by august. I've got a chart and have been doing research so ineed to run out a few scenarios...

With an income of 440 a paycheck...
bills: rent +498
includes: car insurance (180), car payment (140), phone (50), internet (55 between the two of us: 28),  electric (100 between the two of us:50), cat food and cat litter (50)

cedar creek and paladin west (510 a month) - 255 - wainwright - available soon
*350 pet fee - 1 pet limit

880
-255
-----
625
-498
-------
127 - groceries, gas, misc.

park west (520) - 260 - wainwright - available... but for how long?
 *350 fee 1 pet limit

880
-260
-----
620
-498
---------
122

Oakmont (520) - 260 +25 pret fee = 275 -- not available but we will inquire
 *300 pet deposit 1 pet limit

880
-275
-----
605
-498
----
107

east gate (549-89) - 294.5 ** i went with the highest i saw - 
*300 cat deposit but no monthly fee? limit?

880
-295
-----
585
-498
------
87


river edge (495) - 247.5 - unknown if pet rent - available now
*300 cat fee, limit??

880
- 248
--------
632
-498
------------
134


ivy court (499) - 249.5 - available july 15
*300 fee, limit??

880
-250
----
630
-498
-------
132

treasure cove(550-75) - 287.5 - available now
*300 fee

880
-288
-----
592
-498
=====
94