There is a patch of woods in the back of my neighborhood that have always fascinated me. whenever i would go on walks i would always pass them, looking intently into its beautiful green arches of vines and trees and wonder at all the beauty. Over time i began to get the courage to talk as i walked past them, because as anyone who would know me, i believe in faeries...and i just knew that faeries reside in those woods.
sometimes they would let me know they were listening... a dragon fly would come out to greet me, or birds would be singing; once a firefly actually followed me as i walked by. Most times however the woods were still and silent. It was that silence that always daunted me. so i stopped talking to them. sometimes i would sing, but i always made sure to show my love and respect; usually by blowing a kiss to them, or giving a slight bow.
It was in the middle of a sunset that i walked by those woods the other day, and decided to talk to them again. As per usual i said how much i admired them, the beauty of their world, all the green and its life. I told them about the songs and poems i wrote, though i had already told them this before. And finally i stopped. I looked into those woods, saw how deep they looked, how vivid green and alive they were, and i just stood. I sighed, knelt, and decided to let them have it.
"Look. i'm human. I can't change that. I can't see you and i can't hear you and its all my fault. But i mean no harm. I just... as crazy as it sounds i feel homesick and when i walk by or think about you guys, the fae, i feel a little closer to the home that i miss but don't actually know." My cheeks flamed red. being disrespectful to the fae is the quickest way to piss them off... so i added with my head lowered a bit, "not that i'd deserve to be part of your world or that i come from it. i don't mean to assume anything, its just the way i feel." before i could add anything i heard something behind me and my heart stopped. It sank like a stone when i heard a voice say, "Who are you talking to?"
I turned to see a boy, about my age, so a young man would be more accurate. He had his head cocked to the side and an eyebrow raised. I bit my lip and decided, what the hell?
"The faeries that live in these woods." I said matter-of-factly. He smiled, scratched his head and raised the other eyebrow.
"Come again?" he said, i could hear a laugh coming in his voice. I bit my lip and then stood. Who was he to laugh at me? Sure, it might seem weird, but maybe if i defended them in front of this boy they would actually respond to me?
"Faeries. the fair people. little people. elves. gnomes. trolls. wood spirits." i said putting my hands on my hips and adding sass to my voice to cover up my embarrassment.
His smile turned from this-chick-is-crazy to this-chick-is-funny. "I know what the fae are. But what would you know of them? What makes you think there are here or would pay you any mind?"
I blushed at this, turning to face the woods again.
"I know plenty...i think... and i know they don't pay me any mind. doesn't mean i have to ignore them even if they ignore me."
His face turned amused and kind of lets-indulge-the-child... "So why bother?"
"Because... i don't know. talking to them makes me happy. whats it to you? don't you have any hobbys others might think is weird?" I said defensively, i just wanted him to leave. Instead he shrugged, walked over to the edge of the woods, and sat down.
"tell me about them, then. If they are your weird hobby" something about the way he said the last part made me hesitate. He was challenging me... fine. I marched over to him sat down and looke dhim full in the eye.
"what do you want to know?" i said, ready to take on this stranger.
"what do they look like?" he said. I smiled. easy.
"Depends. the fae come in all shapes and forms and sizes. some may look humanoid, some don't. Some can be huge but appear to be small, or vice versa. an ugly male could appear as a gloriously beautiful maid. They can show themselves as whatever form they choose; if they use glamour."
"What is that?" he said, a hint of actual curiosity twinged his mocking tone.
"Glamour...consider it kind of like faerie magic. it alters what something looks, smells,feels,and taste like. they could make a rotted apple smell,look,and taste like a warm fresh pie...and wait till after you take a bite to show you what you've just done." he seemed to be amused by my image, i know i would find it funny if i were a faerie.
"You could be a faerie." i said in a thoughtful tone. I pretended to look him over suspiciously. Why not have fun with this? if he wanted to get me started on my obsession- his own fault! "For all i know you could be three feet tall and have a face covered with knots." i grinned, surprisingly he matched it with one of his own.
"What is their society like?" He said, and seemed to challenge me again with hid tone. It was like a fun game only... he seemed to think i would say the wrong thing.. does he know faerie lore?
"Thhats a bit harder. See...there are court fae...and then there are... oh..i can't think of the word....oh! Solitary fae. Court fae, according to my research fall into 2 main courts. Seelie, the 'good faeries'," i made sure to put quotations around "good faeries", " and the Unseelie court. the 'bad'faeries. Now, not all faeries in these courts are good or bad, same as all people are not good or bad. the seelie tend to be more benevolent towards people, but that does not mean that they are to be trusted, the opposite for the usleelie, thoguh not all will automatically aim to hurt or kill a human. Though i don't recomend going near any of the court fae... just a bad idea. The court fae are generally depicted as the more humanoid in appearance. You're elves and nymphs ans such. " I said, looking at him expecting him to laugh the entire time i give my long winded explanation.
Instead he said, "and the other kind?"
"Um... 'solitary fae'... they generally don't mess with the court faeries... um, they are the kind that seem to interact with the humans more often. they are the kind of faeries that will help around the house or play pranks and make your stuff disappear. they don't particularly follow either court, but can be just as dangerous as the court fea." I said... but then i felt the need to add more.
"however... i feel that this version of fae society is too human. Maybe the court fea do have a hierarchy, but i feel like majority of faeries? they just live. Although society is not just a human thing, wolves have ranks and such, i feel like its not as complicated as human society. I don't think they suffer from the same ambition and greed that we do. at least not as severely... then again maybe the court fae do. I don't know... i think they have been made into a more human-like society than what they actually are." I was glad to see an impressed expression on his face.
"What?" i said, a little defensive, ready for him to call me crazy. He shook his head and smiled.
"You really do believe in them don't you? You've given this serious thought." oh. as i thought, he was in awe of how stupid i must be.
"I do have doubts. they almost never respond to me, at least i never notice when they do until after ward in which its mostly me just hoping. But...its almost like i have to believe. i can't dismiss them. its rude." I said shrugging. I didn't want this cute stranger to think i was
too nuts.
He stood up and stretched, offering me his hand and saying, "This cement is killing my rear end, want to move?" taking his hand i said, "Theres a little grassy hill just down that way." What i didn't tell him was that i thouhg it moght be a faerie knoll. a little hill covered in grass and clovers set apart from the road by a large ditch and small clearing of flowers. I liked to walk past it on my walks and actually would usually blow it a kiss.
We jumped the ditch and i was amazing he was still wanting to talk to me. the wierd girl who talked to the air and believed in faeries. Maybe he thought i was cute and quirky? I smiled when he stretched out laying on the kill, the incline giving him a good view of my face while i talked and looked out over the road.
"so what got you into faeries?"he sounded genuinely curious so i smiled.
"Have been since i was small, but its turned into an obsession as i've gotten older." I smiled as i remembered. "I use to watch this show on saturday morning cartoons...Yu-Gi-Oh. and he would use this card called the mystic elf. I remember thinking she was just beautiful and i wanted to be just like her. So i would dress up and try to look like her. And then its just gone from there...." I began to think how that may have been because of what really got my obsession going.
"What?" he said sitting up a little bit.
"Honesly?" i took a breath and said it. "I think i was an elf in a past life." There. I said it. outloud. at the faerie knoll. infront of this stranger. in front of the faeries.
"I hate saying that outloud!" I said turning to hide my face.
"Why?" he said, he sounded a bit thrown back. which was completely understandable.
"why do i think that or why do i hate saying it?" I asked, my voice muffled from my hands covering my face.
"Both."
"well... its kind of...my faerie obsession sprouts from this belief and this belief sprouts from the obsession. its too hard to explain. but i can tell you it has involved meditations and lots of research. i'm not crazy," I added, giving him a hard look.
He put his hands up in a surrender pose, "I didn't say you were." but his voice and face did. So i told him about a guided meditation i did to "meet my higher self" and how she had been a fae lady. How i went on another that took me to an elven castle that i honestly couldn't have imagined myself. He quielty listened and then asked me why i hated saying it if i was so sure.
"I hate saying it because of how it sounds. plus i don't want to piss an actual faerie off by sounding presumptuous and offending them. this seemed to surprise him.
"If its what you actually believe then support it. don't back down. If you really believe in them and that you...were..one of them.. then don't hesitate. Why would they get offended? Even if you were completely wrong, imitation is flattery. By wanted to be like them you are complimenting them." He said, taking my hands away from my face.
i looked at him. he was odd. i am weird, but he is odd.
"What about you?" i asked looking him up and down. "What kind of person talks to a girl who talks to trees and then stays to hear her talk about insane stuff."
"A bored person." he said with a shrug and laid back again. I followed suit.
"And its not insane stuff. From what i can tell, you seem to be more or less right on what you think. Ecept one thing."
"Oh?" i said and closed my eyes, enjoying the warm day and the coo grass on my back and feet.
"Its not just court fae that are human like - even without glamour solitary fae can as well." I opened my eyes to look at him but...he was gone.
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Well i like to say that i smiled and shook my head and took a nap or continued my walk... but no. I'm human. I spazzed.
I jumped up, put on my shoes and looked around. "What the hell???" i said and actually started to walk into the woods. Which....i wasn't allowed to do. Otherwise i would have done it ages ago.
I was going to call out... but he never said his name. Had he been....a... no... why?
"A bored person." he had been bored. and.... Solitary... meaning he wasn't exactly the happy-go-lucky-safe faerie but he wasn't a court fae.
"Well shit..." i said leaning against a tree. I knew i should turn around but something said that if i just went a little further... but i stopped. I knew i didn't belong there, i'm human. can't change that. I looked all around me and gave a longing sigh. I turned and started back to the knoll when i felt a pull at my sleeve. I looked and saw it was caught on a briar bush. i unhitched myself but felt another pull. i looked and was caught again.
"huh?" i said and got myself free again. I got to the ditch and right as i was about to jump a dragonfly flew right by my face startling me into a half jump - almost putting me into the ditch. I turned to face the woods and knoll again with a smile and a bow.
"I appreciate that. whoever you are. whoever is listening. Thank you." then i winced as i remembered faeries don't like "thank you".
"I appreciate it" i amended quickly and mentally kicked myself - gods why am i so awkward?
i walked home still mildly confused and full of excitement and longing. I didn't get to go for another walk till the next week. The birds were singing which made me smile. i gave my usual bow and kiss and sang as i walked past. As always i gave my longing look into the lush green world i couldn't be part of. But i didn't see anything.
Every time i walk by there i now look for him. But he was most likely glamoured so i doubt i would recognize him even if i saw him. Besides... i don't have the sight and can't see faeries unless they allow me. Why would he show himself to me anyway? He was just bored and amusing himself.
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It was December 21, the winter solstice, i was out walking with friends when we came by the woods. I said i needed to tie my shoe but that they should walk on. When they were out of earshot i told the woods and fae "happy yule!" and blew a kiss. Right when i caught up to my friends, just at the level of the knoll, i heard someone whisper in my ear "and to you". but no one was there. I stopped and made a 180. No one. no breath cloud. nothing. but i knew.... i knew!! he was there.... i smiled and walked on. And thought maybe he possibly walked with us.
on our walk back i hung back as the edge of the woods i whispered "if you're ever bored...i'm right up the road." and never heard from him again.
Until...
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And this only took me an hour and a half to write! :D
