today started out on such a high note....
never tempt fate.
Found out that I have to pay May's rent for both apartments... Adam is going to take all the furnture out of the bedroom and use it, meaning rennovations can be completed. Renovations to the room should be finished by the end of May, meaning I have to find a subleaser who is willing to put up with roaches for dirt cheap rent for two months.
Or i can pay out the rest of the lease which is $315 a month, $945 in total.
life is comint for my pocketbook right now i swear.
on a good note..
i found out Dillion sisn't kill himself.
he ODed. it was either heroine or coke.
the reason there was so much blood was that he was there for 4 days.
4 days.
fuck.
but at least it wasn't suicide.
it relieves a little of the guilt Ive been feeling.
accidental death.
Thursday, April 30, 2020
good day
Today is going to be a good day.
its walpurgis, which is the holiday directly across from samhain... another day where the veil pretty much disappears between worlds. I think i'm gonna do a 21 card spread with my faerie oracle to touch base. ive been wanting to do this but keep putting it off.
But I also woke up in a really good mood. I got up on time. I showered. I put on some lingerie under my clothes to get a more empowered feeling. I did my make up.
I look good.
I smell good.
I feel good.
Today will be a good day.
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Teaching - job thinking
okay so..... i'm considering becoming a teacher after i get my degree...
the way I see it I have a few options...
Somthing like this sounds right up my ally.
https://www.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=ca219c29ec43726e&tk=1e7162hm20ggl001&from=serp&vjs=3
https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=event%20%2435%2C000&l=Raleigh%2C%20North%20Carolina&jt=fulltime&vjk=4a83594e8408a0f2
Community Advocate basically.
the way I see it I have a few options...
- find a job that involves social sustainability like a non profit
- find a job that involves environmental sustainability like a non profit or organization
- find a job in hospiality or tourism (not really feeling that too much....)
- open my own business
- be a teacher...
hear me out.
being a teacher would actually be a socially sustainability job. People are a resource and if i can get them while they are young i can teach them about sustainability, the environment, culture, etc.
Enriching the minds of future generations and emparting on them the importance of sustainability (environmental, social, and economic..... because the other 2 are just as important) is a very real part of actually participating in sustainability.
plus i love children.
and the program to get the liscence is a single class over 5 semesters, something that i can do while i am teaching.
but honeslty bruh i just don't even know what i'm going to do.
I could be a country club manager.
Country club event planner.
I could still try to be a event planner, community outreach associate, etc. for a conservation organization.
I have no idea.
Somthing like this sounds right up my ally.
https://www.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=ca219c29ec43726e&tk=1e7162hm20ggl001&from=serp&vjs=3
https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=event%20%2435%2C000&l=Raleigh%2C%20North%20Carolina&jt=fulltime&vjk=4a83594e8408a0f2
Community Advocate basically.
Diet Recipies
Diet Sweets... limited sugar! if it calls for white sugar... leave it out. might add a scootch of brown sugar.
Dinner
Dessert
Dinner
- Slow Cooked Lemon Chx
- add rosemary
- more garlic
- potatoes
- instead of just lemon juice, add a lemon, thinly sliced
- optional add cherry tomatoes
- https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/slow-cooked-lemon-chicken/
- Bean, Kale, and Egg Stew
- Spinach and bocoli enchiladas
- Parmesean Chx couscous (i use to make this all the time without a recipe so why not try an actual recipe?)
- https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/parmesan-chicken-couscous/
- minus the walnuts.... add shredded carrots for crunch
- Egg Roll Noodle Bowl
- use ground turkey instead of pork
- https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/egg-roll-noodle-bowl/
- slow cooked carribbean roast
- Caprese Chicken
- serve with cesar salad?
- https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/caprese-chicken/
- Asparagus Ham Dinner
Dessert
- Chocolate Mouse/Pudding:
- 1 ripe avocado
- 1 ripe banana
- 4 tbsp cacao
- 3 tbsp coconut oil
- 100ml almond milk
- Blend, place into small pots, or glasses, set in fridge and top with raspberries.
- Mocha Chocolate Cip Cookies
- use regular milk
- add 1/4 cup cocoa powder
- use milk chocolate chunks for sweetness
- leave out coconut sugar
- https://amyshealthybaking.com/blog/2017/06/08/healthy-coffee-chocolate-chip-cookies/
FOR WALPURGIS
mom gave me some thin baking sheets to make a thin layered cake... its means to have like 10 layers and be small but tall. She gave me vanilla cake.... kind of makes me think.... strawberries and cream?
so i'll make the vanilla cake with a whipped cream icing and fresh strawberries between each vanilla layer. I am excited.
Thursday, April 23, 2020
Jimmie Dreams Again
Why the fuck am I dreaming about Jimmie again?
I had 2 this morning.
One where I'm driving a different car than my current one and out of nowhere all 4 tires are flat. I get out, look at them, call work and get told i might be fired for yet another thing causing me to miss work, and get back in the car to be out of the road. Lo and behold the back seat goes down and out crawls jimmie and his friend corie.... who had been living in my car. yes. living in my car. I was flabbergasted.
Into dream #2 which did not happen consecutively to the first.
I was sleeping on the couch when someone sits me up and takes my pants down... I go along with it because i think maybe dalton is wanting to be frisky. when I feel a member down there trying to get in I open my eyes.... and see Jimmie. I just kind of freeze unsure if I have gone back in time or if I was dreaming. He makes it in and almost out of muscle memory I pull him closer.... but when I do I realize I'm not dreaming and this is actually happening so I push im off. I run to the bathroom saying "no no no no no no no" panicked because i knew he would tell Viking Boy I had cheated on him and ruin my relationship. I was still pondering if that second of me pulling him closer counted meant it was consensual and crying in the bathroom when I woke up from the dream.
I had 2 this morning.
One where I'm driving a different car than my current one and out of nowhere all 4 tires are flat. I get out, look at them, call work and get told i might be fired for yet another thing causing me to miss work, and get back in the car to be out of the road. Lo and behold the back seat goes down and out crawls jimmie and his friend corie.... who had been living in my car. yes. living in my car. I was flabbergasted.
Into dream #2 which did not happen consecutively to the first.
I was sleeping on the couch when someone sits me up and takes my pants down... I go along with it because i think maybe dalton is wanting to be frisky. when I feel a member down there trying to get in I open my eyes.... and see Jimmie. I just kind of freeze unsure if I have gone back in time or if I was dreaming. He makes it in and almost out of muscle memory I pull him closer.... but when I do I realize I'm not dreaming and this is actually happening so I push im off. I run to the bathroom saying "no no no no no no no" panicked because i knew he would tell Viking Boy I had cheated on him and ruin my relationship. I was still pondering if that second of me pulling him closer counted meant it was consensual and crying in the bathroom when I woke up from the dream.
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Quiet.
So it wasn’t with a gun.
He was found in a pool of his own blood but no gun was found and no exit wound.
Which means it was probably his wrists and Jessy just didn’t see them.
He’s still gone... but at least it wasn’t as violently.
He’s still gone... but at least it wasn’t as violently.
Monday, April 20, 2020
Dillion.
Dillon....
You took your life.
I’m not sure when, but I pray it wasn’t too long before Jessy came home.
I hate the thought of you lying there all alone for long.
You must not have seen all the worried posts your brother had been making, asking where you were. Trying to find you.
I can’t bring myself to tel him.
I’m waiting for the police to, when he posts the news publicly.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend.
I’m sorry I didn’t check on you.
Where did you even get the gun?
You took your life.
I’m not sure when, but I pray it wasn’t too long before Jessy came home.
I hate the thought of you lying there all alone for long.
You must not have seen all the worried posts your brother had been making, asking where you were. Trying to find you.
I can’t bring myself to tel him.
I’m waiting for the police to, when he posts the news publicly.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I wasn’t a better friend.
I’m sorry I didn’t check on you.
Where did you even get the gun?
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Old friend back again
Ah.. depression. My old friend, back again...
I have not missed you at all.
And I see you’ve brought the anxiety and racing thoughts of mania with you.
Fun fun fun .
I’m just going to let my brain explode and hope for the best
I have not missed you at all.
And I see you’ve brought the anxiety and racing thoughts of mania with you.
Fun fun fun .
I’m just going to let my brain explode and hope for the best
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Binding
I cannot go into a lot of detail but I months ago when I “made up” with someone i allowed myself to get swept up in emotion and did a binding spell with them so we would stay in each others lives... in blood.
Making it pretty much impossible to break on my own.
Since then I have felt like I am trapped and that feeling (along with a few other things) has sparked resentment and I want the binding spell broken.
I don’t intend to abandon this person, a fear they had which is what lead to the spell, but I do not feel comfortable being chained to this person... especially when I feel the chain is like an anchor that holds me down spiritually.
I am working with a goddess who wants me to have complete sovereignty over my life (something I want too, and am happy she is helping me with) and this binding spell prevents that.
I’m hoping if the binding spell is broken some of the built up resentment will leave. It’s not so clean cut as that but more or less that is the situation. But the question is, how does one approach someone saying “I want the blood promise we made to be broken so that if I were to choose to leave I can” without insinuating I’m going to leave.
Especially because this person has in the past held a polarized “if you’re not with me then you’re against me” mentality and I see no reason or indications that they have changed. So approaching them could potentially get me excommunicated AGAIN.
So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Can’t take back my freedom without possibly losing all my friends again.
Leave the binding in place and just let the resentment build until there’s no turning back and I just break.
Making it pretty much impossible to break on my own.
Since then I have felt like I am trapped and that feeling (along with a few other things) has sparked resentment and I want the binding spell broken.
I don’t intend to abandon this person, a fear they had which is what lead to the spell, but I do not feel comfortable being chained to this person... especially when I feel the chain is like an anchor that holds me down spiritually.
I am working with a goddess who wants me to have complete sovereignty over my life (something I want too, and am happy she is helping me with) and this binding spell prevents that.
I’m hoping if the binding spell is broken some of the built up resentment will leave. It’s not so clean cut as that but more or less that is the situation. But the question is, how does one approach someone saying “I want the blood promise we made to be broken so that if I were to choose to leave I can” without insinuating I’m going to leave.
Especially because this person has in the past held a polarized “if you’re not with me then you’re against me” mentality and I see no reason or indications that they have changed. So approaching them could potentially get me excommunicated AGAIN.
So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Can’t take back my freedom without possibly losing all my friends again.
Leave the binding in place and just let the resentment build until there’s no turning back and I just break.
Monday, April 13, 2020
*screams*
for personal reasons....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
That is all.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
That is all.
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Jiggle - A Reflection on Body Weight
Why is it that I am so obsessed with my body weight?
I am considered overweight based on my BMI score, but only by a little.
Why do I see my body as bad?
I have some jiggle in my walk and some super soft jiggly bits on my legs and tummy....
but is that bad?
why?
... I don't have an answer other than I no longer fit conventional beauty standards.
But I am finally developing the body type that I find attractive in women.... ive never really gone for the super slim figured girls when i date women.
I like women with a little jiggle..... my boyfriend likes women with a little jiggle....
so why do I hate my jiggle?
If i can appreciate it and admire it on others, then why not myself?
There are only 4 eyes who need to see my beauty.
My lover's and my own.
If i can look and see other's bodies through the lense of appreciation, then why not my own?
Why do I hate on my tummy?
Why do I hate on the cellulite on my ass and thighs?
Why do i tell myself that I hate the super softness of my inner thighs, just because they jiggle?
i need to learn to appreciate the jiggle that i love on others, on myself.
Aine recommended I stand in front of a mirror naked and speak to every part of my body, telling it how much I loved it and why... at first i thought it was silly... but now i think I might actually do it.
I am considered overweight based on my BMI score, but only by a little.
Why do I see my body as bad?
I have some jiggle in my walk and some super soft jiggly bits on my legs and tummy....
but is that bad?
why?
... I don't have an answer other than I no longer fit conventional beauty standards.
But I am finally developing the body type that I find attractive in women.... ive never really gone for the super slim figured girls when i date women.
I like women with a little jiggle..... my boyfriend likes women with a little jiggle....
so why do I hate my jiggle?
If i can appreciate it and admire it on others, then why not myself?
There are only 4 eyes who need to see my beauty.
My lover's and my own.
If i can look and see other's bodies through the lense of appreciation, then why not my own?
Why do I hate on my tummy?
Why do I hate on the cellulite on my ass and thighs?
Why do i tell myself that I hate the super softness of my inner thighs, just because they jiggle?
i need to learn to appreciate the jiggle that i love on others, on myself.
Aine recommended I stand in front of a mirror naked and speak to every part of my body, telling it how much I loved it and why... at first i thought it was silly... but now i think I might actually do it.
Tuesday, April 7, 2020
The Well Armed Woman
I am thinking about taking a defensive shooting class. I feel like learning to shoot will help me feel empowered, less meek and weak. Knowing that i have the knowledge and ability to actually use a weapon if the situation calls for it.... I think it would help me feel like I have control in my life.
The teacher is my mailman's wife, and she runs a program called "the well armed woman". She's outshot marines and cops. Apparently she's a very good and patient teacher.
I feel like this could really help me.
i'm just looking for empowerment.... and i spoke with the lady and thats exactly what it did for her.
Monday, April 6, 2020
something wrong with me?
some books to look into....
I can count on one hand the amount of times I have actually toed the line of an orgasm....and half of them were from dreams.
i'm starting to wonder if there's something physically wrong with me.
is it still trauma? i no longer feel fear in regards to sexual pleasure. Ie actually started to have sex with orgasm as a goal to be achieved.... accepting its not all about my partner.
so why can't i do it? it's not like i have a bad partner. as far as how it feels and pleasure levels, VB is 10/10. my problem being that there is no build... its there and then its not and then repeat. on off on off on off.
i don't know how to make it build.
maybe i need to be drunk.
Big school work
Event planning:
weekly quizzes
DMO assignment 2 - due 4/19
Final Exam - 4/27 to 5/3
Current hospitality issues:
Case study due 4/12
Case study responses due 4/26
Current events in hospitality 3
Final Exam - 4/27 to 5/3
Tousrism:
- Covid 19 DB 1&2 - due the 14th
- Business plan - due 4/21
- power point - due 4/21
weekly quizzes
DMO assignment 2 - due 4/19
Final Exam - 4/27 to 5/3
Current hospitality issues:
Case study due 4/12
Case study responses due 4/26
Current events in hospitality 3
Final Exam - 4/27 to 5/3
Tousrism:
- Covid 19 DB 1&2 - due the 14th
- Business plan - due 4/21
- power point - due 4/21
Saturday, April 4, 2020
Septum... pt 2
more rings i love and want to be able to find!
for everyday:
https://www.amazon.com/MOOHAM-Septum-Surgical-Cartilage-Piercing/dp/B07ZKG53MW/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=pink%2Bseptum%2Bblack%2Bring&qid=1586006701&sr=8-1-spons&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExSjVJUTgwTVdJMTM1JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTAwNjk3MVA5TUNWWEZFM0VUMCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMjA2MzUzMUdQS0QzN0NWTDlRVyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU&th=1
https://www.amazon.com/365-Sleepers-Surgical-Piercing-Earrings/dp/B07XYXS92J/ref=sr_1_17?dchild=1&keywords=Filigree%2Bseptum%2B5%2F16%2B8mm&qid=1586007724&sr=8-17&th=1
fancier ones:
https://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Centered-Filigree-Bendable-Piercings/dp/B074XH1V24/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=Filigree%2Bhoop%2Bseptum&qid=1586007381&sr=8-7&th=1
https://www.etsy.com/listing/680860189/rose-gold-plated-septum-5cz-bendable?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=8mm+septum+ring+rose+gold&ref=sr_gallery-1-39&organic_search_click=1
https://www.etsy.com/listing/685193711/septum-clicker-ring-daith-piercing-ring?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=8mm+septum+pink&ref=sr_gallery-1-29&organic_search_click=1
https://www.amazon.com/OUFER-Stainless-Earrings-Cluster-Piercing/dp/B07QJ5NX49/ref=sr_1_8?dchild=1&keywords=8mm%2Bseptum%2Bclicker&qid=1585837280&sr=8-8&th=1
This one is Tiny!!
https://www.amazon.com/Royalty-WildKlass-Clicker-Stainless-Individually/dp/B016RCDM4A/ref=sr_1_97?dchild=1&keywords=Filigree+hoop+septum&qid=1586007469&sr=8-97
This one is bigger:
https://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Heart-Septum-Cartilage-Captive/dp/B079NQ7VRN/ref=sr_1_9?dchild=1&keywords=pink+septum&qid=1586006579&sr=8-9
for everyday:
https://www.amazon.com/MOOHAM-Septum-Surgical-Cartilage-Piercing/dp/B07ZKG53MW/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=pink%2Bseptum%2Bblack%2Bring&qid=1586006701&sr=8-1-spons&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExSjVJUTgwTVdJMTM1JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTAwNjk3MVA5TUNWWEZFM0VUMCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMjA2MzUzMUdQS0QzN0NWTDlRVyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU&th=1
https://www.amazon.com/365-Sleepers-Surgical-Piercing-Earrings/dp/B07XYXS92J/ref=sr_1_17?dchild=1&keywords=Filigree%2Bseptum%2B5%2F16%2B8mm&qid=1586007724&sr=8-17&th=1
fancier ones:
https://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Centered-Filigree-Bendable-Piercings/dp/B074XH1V24/ref=sr_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=Filigree%2Bhoop%2Bseptum&qid=1586007381&sr=8-7&th=1
https://www.etsy.com/listing/680860189/rose-gold-plated-septum-5cz-bendable?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=8mm+septum+ring+rose+gold&ref=sr_gallery-1-39&organic_search_click=1
https://www.etsy.com/listing/685193711/septum-clicker-ring-daith-piercing-ring?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=8mm+septum+pink&ref=sr_gallery-1-29&organic_search_click=1
https://www.amazon.com/OUFER-Stainless-Earrings-Cluster-Piercing/dp/B07QJ5NX49/ref=sr_1_8?dchild=1&keywords=8mm%2Bseptum%2Bclicker&qid=1585837280&sr=8-8&th=1
This one is Tiny!!
https://www.amazon.com/Royalty-WildKlass-Clicker-Stainless-Individually/dp/B016RCDM4A/ref=sr_1_97?dchild=1&keywords=Filigree+hoop+septum&qid=1586007469&sr=8-97
This one is bigger:
https://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Heart-Septum-Cartilage-Captive/dp/B079NQ7VRN/ref=sr_1_9?dchild=1&keywords=pink+septum&qid=1586006579&sr=8-9
Friday, April 3, 2020
Maeve
Today boys and girls I learned a lesson...
Mab/Maeve being the same goddess, one just being the aspect she shows herself to me as.... really was such a strong personality.... and she gave 0 fucks about rules and other thoughts... she raged wars to get anythign she wanted and she ruled through sex and force.
She was a great queen and I 100% why she is always painted as a villian.
I really fucking do.
But here's the thing.....I admire her.
I see why she is a goddess.
She said fuck the rules of men, I do what I want because i'm fucking queen.
She embraced her shadow and lived her life exactly how she wanted to.
thats some real strength there.
I see why she is who i will be doing my shadow work with..... because she exhibits a lot of my shadow... and maybe she can teach me to love it like she did.
But i'm also realizing that while SG has 2 forms in my daydream/messages his darker form has changed and almost taken on a new character.... After reading about Maeve, I am seeing he had taken on her aspects lately. Maybe she has commandeered that character for now?
Idk. I might actually have to pay Emily for a 30 min session and get her to give me the upfront details.
I feel like if i can untangle these strings about SG, Mab/Maeve, and Aine it will really clear up some confusion and help me to run forward spiritually.
I'm gonna do it before I trance and do readings today. should help open me up.
Thursday, April 2, 2020
Tea with Anubis planning 1
Since I'm thinking charlotte would be the best place in NC to open up my cafe I decided to reach out to a few pagan stores in Charlotte.... and one messaged me back! Maybe I can bounce ideas off her and see what it's like to be a metaphysical store in that area and elearn from her experiences. I am so excited!
I was thinking if I couldn't do the bakery part myself I could partner with a bakery.
I could grow or import herbs for the teas/buy them fresh and use a dehumidifier. same for fruit.
I could make non alcoholic drinks as tarot cards.. and then if they order them in reverse "i'll have a .... chariots in reverse" it would be an alcoholic drink.
Reverse Menu! for an extra $3 add:
- whipped cream vodka
- Elderberry liqueur
- vanilla rum
- vanilla vodka
- gin
- Irish Cream
- godiva white chocolate
- godiva milk chocolate
-godiva dark chocolate
- almond liqueur
Ordering a drink in reverse would add $3 to the bill (we would use 3/4 shot).
This would be offered mon-sat 10am-10pm
On sabbats (as long as its not a sunday) We would stay open till 2am and would open late the next day.
I've already got a work schedule figured out and hourly pay. Cashier number being 4.
I'm currently working on a menu and i am loving this.
septum.....pt 1
okay so i am seriously thinking of getting my septum pierced.....
I actually looked into the sizes and the reason the fake ones looked so big on me?..... because they were literally the biggest size.
I will probably ask for a 16G piercing because thats what most clickers are.... as for the size, I can do 1/4 - 6mm or 5/16 - 8mm at the biggest and they would look totally fine on me size wise.
I like the idea of really simple pretty ones for the usual daily.... something like these
20G <3
16G
most decorative vauges are at least 16G and i think thats the thickest i'll go, and i don't see why i wouldn't be able to wear 20G once its all healed up and won't close. so after about 3 weeks i can put in a 16G clicker....
then after like 6 months I can use the 20G.
this is of coarse going to be months down the line when everything is back open and stuff and my finances have evened out after the move.
I know it will be 3 weeks before i can get a clicker and it costs $10 to get the ring changed out.... but if i can be shown how to do it myself then I should be fine.
day dreaming
Day Dreaming...
okay so if we built a house...... This one is perfect.
I say its perfect because the master bedroom is big... 18x9 level big, so it could easily accommodate 2 people (married. No buying a house unless married.) Plus has a decent sized guest room.... and 2 small rooms below that are too small to be bedrooms but would make good studies.... we could each have a room to ourselves for our own stuff. And... if we have a big yard can get him a shelter to make a smoke shack and maybe give one of the smaller rooms to future kid? If his son decided to live with us then he of coarse would get the guest room and the bigger of the studies would be the guest room.
that master is so big it can fit a writer's study in it.... so having it built for us would be 100,050. If we just get all the part shipped it would be 60,056.... and aybe we could contract someone? (puch..... that adds up real fast https://www.rockethomes.
HVAC is about $3,000 and plumbing would be about $10,000, plus the septic tank ($5000 )
so just major systems would cost: $18000 so lets round up and say 20,000.
it's basically 1100 sq feet including the porch. So... we would need like 2000sq ft that's just under .05 acre. so lets say we want a place with room to spare so like.... 10,000 sqft? We could get a pool and have plenty of space to entertain. even better if we have some woods on the property. .3 of an acre is enough to have a decent yard.
okay so land.... we would have to clear it so everything can be installed.
so lets say $2000 because it would be less than an acre.
100,100 + 20,000+ $6,000 for a loan down payment + 2000+ no more than 20,000 for a lot of land.
= 148,100 = 150,000 for a build house..... not even furnishing it with washer and dryer, stove/oven, microwave, and fridge/freezer. If we bought everything new from Lowes....
Kitchen appliance sets: 2,500-3000.
washer/dryer: 800 cheapest..... 1300 for the set I want.
so lets say 155,000. total we would need to build a house.
with a loan calculator with a FTO loan we would be making $1000 payments a month.
Or we could simply buy a house and land and make 150 our house budget?
this could be a house and land valued at that.... or a cheaper home that we remodel. and can look into up to...20 miles from charlotte? with a lot size of at least 2000 for a yard. (and if we get over .6 acres we could probably even sell some land.
if remodeling.... we can put drywall over wood panel walls and then paint it. If we need to remove the carpet..... at the most to hire someone to do that would be 11000, would most likely cost about 6000, esp if we rip up the original flooring.
so lets say our budget if we are buying is 120K which would leave us 30K for furnishing and remodeling.
somthing like this would be perfect... https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/207-Southbourne-Ct_Mount-Holly_NC_28120_M61027-56168?view=qv
Wednesday, April 1, 2020
budgeting
okay.... so if this whole relief check is actually a thing...
1200.
400 for my credit card. (bringing it down to.. 400.)
600 into savings
200 bank account
Paycheck 1 = 136
350
- 99 car insurance
-65 health insurance
-50 phone
Paycheck 2 =25
350
-200 car payment
-65 student loans
-60 credit
Paycheck 3 = 168
350
-82 rent/util/int.
-100 savings
Paycheck 4 =0
350
-350 rent/util/int
136 +25+168 = 329 - 40 gas - 50 cats - 200 food. = 39 in the bank.
I need to talk to my boss to have less taxes taken out.... because lately my paychecks have been like.... 320.
as it is i have $20 extra taken out of my paychecks to go towards taxes (and hopefully come back to me next feb) but I think i'll drop it to $10.
Big Project/Paper: Business Plan Outline
Value Proposition
Our Values:The core values of Tea with Anubis are honesty, hard work, and compassion. Through these we wish to pursue our goals of sustaining the local community and doing our part to protect and support mother earth.
Our Mission:
Tea with Anubis seeks to serve the community through providing a peaceful environment, metaphysical healing, and hospitality services such as: teas, coffees, and baked goods made from locally and sustainably sourced and ingredients.
Our Vision:
Tea with Anubis is a metaphysical themed cafe and bakery which seeks to provide a safe and welcoming environment to people from all walks of life. With a unique and eye catching theme, hospitality services, a rentable back room available for any kind of meeting, and different metaphysical services offered, Tea with Anubis has many legs to stand on.
Our Goals:
Above all Tea with Anubis aims to provide: quality food and beverages, a stress free environment that people from varied backgrounds can find peaceful and welcoming to spend their time, and providing sustainable revenue for the local community. Our Values:The core values of Tea with Anubis are honesty, hard work, and compassion. Through these we wish to pursue our goals of sustaining the local community and doing our part to protect and support mother earth.
Company Description
Use your company description to provide detailed information about your company. Go into detail about the problems your business solves. Be specific, and list out the consumers, organization, or businesses your company plans to serve.Explain the competitive advantages that will make your business a success. Are there experts on your team? Have you found the perfect location for your store? Your company description is the place to boast about your strengths.
Use your company description to provide detailed information about your company. Go into detail about the problems your business solves. Be specific, and list out the consumers, organization, or businesses your company plans to serve.Explain the competitive advantages that will make your business a success. Are there experts on your team? Have you found the perfect location for your store? Your company description is the place to boast about your strengths.
- - Key partnerships
- Note the other businesses or services you’ll work with to run your business. Think about suppliers, manufacturers, subcontractors and similar strategic partners.
- *****networking
- - Key activities
- List the ways your business will gain a competitive advantage. Highlight things like selling direct to consumers, or using technology to tap into the sharing economy. Store Hours. (open
- - Unique themes and Ideas
- I will need to go into the legal requirements on attaining and sustaining a liquor license for some of the drinks I plan to make.
- - Cost Structure
- Will your company focuses on reducing costs or maximizing value? Define your strategy, then list the most significant costs you’ll face pursuing it.
- I will include a small segment on the cost of start up, how I plan to get the money and how I plan to financially disperse the money. **** Including cost of staff and liquor licensing... which will affect the cost of goods and services as well as the cost of outsourcing teas and coffees. (research into local grown products).
You'll need a good understanding of your industry outlook and target market. Competitive research will show you what other businesses are doing and what their strengths are. In your market research, look for trends and themes. What do successful competitors do? Why does it work? Can you do it better? Now's the time to answer these questions.
- - Key resources
- List any resources you’ll leverage to create value for your customer. Your most important assets could include staff, capital, or intellectual property. Don’t forget to leverage business resources that might be available to women, veterans, Native Americans, and HUBZone businesses.
- - Value proposition
- Make a clear and compelling statement about the unique value your company brings to the market.
- - Customer relationships
- Describe how customers will interact with your business. Is it automated or personal? In person or online? Think through the customer experience from start to finish.
- - Customer segments
- Be specific when you name your target market. Your business won’t be for everybody, so it’s important to have a clear sense of who your business will serve.
- - Channels
- List the most important ways you’ll talk to your customers. Most businesses use a mix of channels and optimize them over time.
Use an organizational chart to lay out who's in charge of what in your company. Show how each person's unique experience will contribute to the success of your venture. Consider including resumes and CVs of key members of your team.
* I will have a chart with a list of the different jobs I plan to have within the shop, who will fill it, and how much I plan to pay, as well as how I plan to schedule them - 30 hour work weeks.
Service or product line
Describe what you sell or what service you offer. Explain how it benefits your customers and what the product lifecycle looks like. Share your plans for intellectual property, like copyright or patent filings. If you're doing research and development for your service or product, explain it in detail.
- - Sustainability
- This is where I will go more in depth about how i will have sustainability practices because of the level of involvement i plan to have in the community including interacting with local schools, artists, and other local businesses. This is a hospitality business so I will also include my plans on how to control waste management, prevent spoilage, and contribute to local charities.
- - Revenue streams
- Explain how your company will actually make money. Some examples are direct sales, membership fees, and selling advertising space. If your company has multiple revenue streams, list them all.
we talked
We talked.... we just have very different views on the word sexy. to him its a specific thing and while he says i dress very sexy (more so than anyone else hes ever dated) my level of cute just overrides it.
So... its there at least.
what it translates to is that he finds adorableness sexy but to him "sexy" is a specific look so he doesn't think i'm "sexy" even though he actually does.
kind of confusing but i get it.
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