Tuesday, May 10, 2016

thoughts and reflections - while being betty crocker


  • my back hurts.... *sigh* i need to do some research on scoliosis and see if there is anything that can be done about the back pain
  • i have one cake cooling (rum cake) and in  5 more minutes i need to find a way to flip it upside down and put it back into the pan - without waking up mom  (its midnight)
  • i have another cake baking (dragon cake) - which i then need to decorate
  • a thought came into my mind.... what if we only ever have one great love in our lives? i often wonder if i am going to be romantically alone for the est of my life ever since accepting my asexual status - but what if... i only get one great and powerful passionate love? Writing. I know deep in my heart that what i love most is writing. If i had to choose between being a writer or finding the love of my life.... i'd write. 
    • maybe before i was born i decided i didn't want anything to distract me from writing and my spiritual growth, so i made this body asexual? removing sex removes a primal uge that would serve as a distraction.
    • granted i still crave romantic love..... but i'm realizing just how much i love writing. 
    • weird thoughts but thoughts none the less.....

time to flip some cake. cake flip successful.


    • i have the current  love of my life - smokey. there really isn't anyone other than my family that i can say i love more than him. when he passes i will be crushed.
    • however that (hopefully) won't be for another 8-10 years - smokey is 7-8 and i wi;; try not to worry about it until then/
    • notice i called him my current love of my life. Everything changes - that is a universal truth. even love. When he passes, i will have a new primary love, although i have no clue whom it may be.
    • for now i have my cat and my writing - my two loves  - current and lasting love.


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