Back and forth

Yesterday I get to spend time with him and it was great. It was wonderful. I had him all to myself. I felt loved, I felt happy. we spent quality time together, not just on our phones next to each other barely touching.

I come home from a long day at work, looking forward to spending the next two hours with him; Mr. Caird gave me a bottle of wine and I was planing on putting on a movie or show and relaxing with him. It was one of the things that got me through my shift tonight... which was very long and chaotic. 

Instead I’m greeted with a kiss hello, a quick hug, and he returns to playing video games. 

With Diana. 

I get they both enjoy video games and it’s a hobby for them. 

She had work earlier, probably worked 8 hours and wanted to destress.  That’s what.. her being home at 7. Give an hour to eat and change and what not...so 8; I got home at 11. 3 hours of playing? 

He had an appointment at 3. Wasn’t home until after I got left for work. So let’s say 7 again.  So they’ve both had like 3 hours of playing. 

Not as long as their usual perhaps. But she’s gotten to see him for those 3 hours. I wanted my turn. 

I know the cards said I need to get red of this victim perspective but godsdammit. 

I was looking forward to being with him. 

But whatever. I’ll watch a movie in the room. Drink my wine and spend time with my cat. 

Maybe I’ll get a good night kiss before bed, although doubtful since I don’t think I’m going to make it through the movie. I’ll probably pour my wine back in the bottle too. I really only like to drink if I’m in a good mood. 

And I am far from my former good mood. 

Maybe Darcy and Eliza will lighten my mood so I can at least not have bad dreams.

Kind of want to text Savannah but don’t want to annoy her.