My heart hurts

So this weekend has sucked.


I came to the realization that the duplex that me Morgan and Cole wasn’t actually within budget because Cole has a lizard and it would jack the utilities up at least 60-75$.

And I honestly don’t know if he would be able to pay the 2/3s when that is added with water, sewage, trash pick up, internet, groceries, and any other expenses they might have.

So he suggested we go somewhere smaller and cheaper. But space is important to me. ESPECIALLY because there will be three of us and I know I’m going to go crazy without a space to myself. And if I  am spending a lot of time in my bedroom then I don’t want it to be cramped and small.

2 reasons for wanting to move out of where I am:
- bigger bedroom: I want another dresser and a desk and maybe a bigger bed. And shelves.
- more interaction for my cats

There isn’t enough reason for me to move.

Then on top of that I have just lost most of my friends. Possibly lost Morgan and Cole for not being able to live with them.

I lost my witchy friends because instead of fighting Maggie and Jimmie whenever they shut talked about brooks and Amy, I nodded along because there was no point in fighting with them.

All the things I just agreed with to allow them to vent got back to Amy.

We fought. I thought we were okay.

Then the rest of the friend group left me because Amy found out that I thought brooks would pressure her into sex. And I do. He did it to Maggie all the time and I don’t see why he wouldn’t do it to any.
But this comment came about when Amy told me something about Jimmie and I went to Maggie for advice because it didn’t change my views on him, and I didn’t know if it made me a bad person.

Well that got back to her too.

I don’t know who told her all of this; but the first was done to ease the bitterness of people in pain.
The second was said in confidence. I did say it to Maggie and I did say it to Aaron, but Aaron was also aware of what Amy had said and so it wasn’t a breech of confidentiality.

But whatever. They say they are done with me.
Fine.