stressors

 I am on the verge of an anxiety attack so I need to make a list of my stressors and then sort them into what i can control and what I can't. Then focus on fixing what i can control. 

Can't Control:

- Hysteria's mental health and the fact that she may be willing to up-end her whole life and move away because shes manic and her health is not stable. then the domino effect it would have on the rest of the drag family. 

- Ellis's mental health and his job security; how he is starting to affect the other members in the family and the building frustration. 

- Star's mental health due to work stress, baby momma stress, relationship stress added on by Ellis and the frustration of his husband and child. 

- Will I be able to move into the new apartment with $400 less in rent? Should i sign the lease and just pray i can find a subleaser in time? Should I stay where i am? 

- How much of a raise will i get in July? Will it be enough to help with my financial worries if I stay in my current apartment?

- Will i get into grad school? Move across the country? Have enough funding to do so?

- Humu's health

- Air force guy is leaving and I may never get to see him again. I can tell his is pulling away the closer to his deployment (this is for both our sakes but it makes me sad and anxious)

Can control:

- My body isn't where I want it to - I need to be more active. Yoga. Going to the gym. 

- I HAVE to find a home for this dog coming to me in a week. (If i move, by July. If I stay, then just asap. Honestly I think having the dog is going to just stress everyone out until I can find a place for it.)

- My home is a mess:

• Clean the kitchen & dishes
• Clean the living room
• Laundry
• Pack and organize my burlesque into the second room closet
• Catlitter

- I need to research other grad schools in case I don't get into this one and apply to them as well. 

- I need to reach out to the professors in July for letters of recommendation - worry about that later

- Work on my letters of purpose for grad school applications

- I'm daydreaming but not writing anything

- I want to get back into dancing but I am too stressed

- Work

• finding time to have training meetings for my own team with their scheduling
• learning the new system enough to help others
• they are losing faith in me - we now have daily recaps and someone else is doing our marketing
• do these new competitor reports
• keeping the atmosphere fun and light when i'm so friggin anxious 
• I need to release 2 more residents. 
• Turn Lola's future apartment - ask my boss about flooring upgrade