uncertainty

 There is a lot of uncertainty that i feel about my life. Its been weighing on me and I know that io always feel better when my thoughts are written out for me to see rather than just circling incorporeal in my mind. 

Do i have what it takes to go back to school and get a higher degree - yes. 

The issue lies in what i want to specialize in... if no professor relates enough to my study topic and decides to mentor me, then i won't be accepted into the program. 

It sucks but that's how it works with cultural anthropology degrees. 

I can really see myself being a professor. I feel like I would find it very (stressful but) fulfilling. I would be teaching something i am super interested and passionate about and encouraging and inspiring younger minds. It sounds like a dream. So much that perhaps I should change what i want to study, from folklore and its connection to cultural identity to religion and ritual. I would just get a minor in folklore. That would up my chances of acceptance. 

Right out of graduation I would be an assistant professor - average salary is like 50K; that's really not bad. 

But what if I don't get in? What then?

I could stay in student housing/property management/community management field... increase experience to get better pay and benefits, travel abroad, go on vacations, live comfortably. The career field would be very lukewarm but my quality of life would be comfortable. 

And honestly I'd have an easier time finding work in almost every state. 

I think in either way i would find a way to make happiness work. 

see? After writing this out i feel better.