Yes i have an alter.
I actually have 2 but the other is NEVER allowed out. ever. The few times its slipped out my friends thought i was slightly possessed. i don't ever talk about it because its not relevant and talking about it only gives it power.
But OSDD is basically any dissassociative disorder that doesn't quite fit perfectly into one of the others.
OSDD -1 is DID.... 1a is only having 1 alter. 1b is not having amnesia between alters.
I could arguable have 1a but i most definitly have 1b.
Brooks was ultimately right when i first tried to tell him about Fae and he dismissed it. Its not DID.
its the milder form of it: OSDD-1.
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I made a post online that said:
So…. I like to think that i have mild DID. only have 1.5 alters (i say .5 because one is permanently kept in a cage by my protective alter and is NEVER allowed to come out) and i don’t black out. My memory can become very fuzzy when my alter takes over, but i almost never lose time. I describe it like percentages…. i’m a certain percentage of her and a certain percentage of me. the higher her percentage the more “bleed through” i have… certain traits of hers begin to manifest in me. There are periods where she seems to be at 0% and they can last for a little while.
When that happens i say that she is “napping” or sleeping” in the back seat. Because another way i explain my situation to people is like my body is a car… and there are 3 spots: driver, passenger, and back seat. Whoever is driving is in the most control and thats who “I am”. The passenger seat there is some control, mostly through communication “Do this” “Say this” “Don’t do this” and so forth. The back seat is when a percentage is REALLY high in someone’s favor. so like i would be in the back seat if she was at 90%. Usually she is in the back, only popping up with a funny/mean comment and giving her opinions on things. Shes a lot more active when shes in passenger and thats when she tends to bleed through.
We have a system of operations…. she knows when she’s allowed to take over (i’m feeling threatened or someone i care about is threatened - disrespect if a big one for her…. someone disrespects me she definitely gets active - unless shes asleep.) But throughout all of it… i’m aware of whats happening. When someone else tells me about things that happen or were said while shes been driving, its a very fuzzy memory and she usually fills in the fine details - but i’m always conscious.
I don’t have a formal diagnosis because every time i have tried she does NOT like the therapist. They usually give us a rendition of all of the online surveys which totally ignore co-conscious systems. That and she doesn’t feel we need the validation (i would like the validation.)
Does anyone else experience their alters without blacking out?
to which someone responded saying that DID without amnesia is OSDD-1b... which prompted me to do some digging.
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The most important difference between individuals with DID and OSDD-1 is the way in which they experience their alters. Even individuals with OSDD-1b might experience their alters more as different versions of themselves, though they're more likely to experience a noticeable change in skills, memory, temperament, or overall personality. It is important to note that even the least differentiated OSDD-1b parts are still more differentiated, separate, and autonomous than the most developed parts that can be present in borderline personality disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, or complex posttraumatic stress disorder, none of which involve dissociated parts that have a unique sense of self or self history.
They may or may not have dissociative amnesia for aspects of their trauma history, but information flow between alters in an OSDD-1b system is much more consistent. While someone with DID might not realize that or when they lose time, someone with OSDD-1b is usually fully aware of their alters' activities and is very unlikely to find any evidence of unremembered activities. If they ever were to have a dissociative trance or fugue episode, it would be unassociated with their alters. They tend to struggle less with their memory on a day to day basis.
Because alters for individuals with DID are more dissociated from each other, individuals with DID are able to have fewer alters co-conscious at once. While someone with OSDD-1b might be able to have all of their parts present and aware of each other and the outside world at once, someone with DID might be able to reach only a fraction of their system at any given moment and may be unaware of or unable to communicate with a large number of their alters.
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