A day off

So today I had the day off with Jimmie. Except I was on call for work. Shelby broke her wrist and asked me to take her shift... I pretty much told her if I got called in I would come in, but that was pretty much it. I did tell her though to have them call me in if the pain got too much.

So I call in.

“Hey do I need to come in?”
“No because Shelby is here.”
“How is she doing?”
“Well I had to help her dress herself, that how she’s doing.”
“I told her if the pain was too much to have you call me in.”
“No. Enjoy your day off. Bye.”

Yeah. I am not obligated to volunteer to take a shift on my day off.
She should have called out. Or they should have sent her home. They should have called me in. None of that happened and it’s not on me.

I needed a day off.
A day away from everything.
A day to step out of the real world, just for a little while.

I’m failing a class even though I’ve studied.
My ac/heat is broken.
I lost the Maryland toll ticket and if I can’t pay it on time the price goes up $50.
I’m already stressing about money.
I’m stressed by the fact that when I graduate I’m going back to working 2 jobs and destroying myself.
I also don’t have a definitive place to move into when my lease runs up.
My bipolar is acting up.
It’s been brought to my attention that I have memory gaps. Conversations I have no recollection of having. That has never happened before. (That I’ve been aware of.) and it’s fixking scary.


So yes I was selfish today because I needed a fucking day off.

But now it’s over.
It’s time to go back to the real world.

Gods work is going to suck tomorrow. And if they come at me for taking today I’m going to fucking lose it.