Friday, October 9, 2020

No More Viking Man

 So.... I was never going to break up with him. I was talking big so that I could confront him. 


I didn’t even get anywhere on my list past the wedding when he broke up with me. Last night. He claimed that he was too selfish and emotionally distant to be a decent boyfriend to anyone. 


Today I called him out on that being an excuse. Every person has a core flaw. Mine is dependency. His is selfishness. I was willing and able to accept and love him despite it. You can’t change your core flaw... you can manage and control it but it will always be there. 

So I wanted the real reason. 


And there it was. Same thing as Jimmie. 

“I don’t want to be with you”

“I want to be alone”


And just like that. With two days left till our year mark.


We are officially done. Nail in the coffin. 


Going to try and work it as roommates seeing as our lease doesn’t run up till July. 


I am so tired of investing myself, mind body spirit into someone only to hear the words “I love you but I don’t want to be with you” as soon as I finally let go of my final defenses. 


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