I know I am amazing and am I fantastic person. It seems the longer I'm single, the more okay I am with it. But for the past few days... I've been... Lonely? Scared? That I won't find someone.
Honestly.. I won't find someone who will make me feel like I did with jake. It's been over 3 years and his impact on me remains. I don't want him anymore... I want the feelings he brought.
The secure, safe, and loving feelings. The ability to talk about anything. How easy it was to play and laugh. Knowing that I would be taken care of and pampered but being able to do it back.
I honestly feel like I won't find a love like that again in this life. I'm scared that I really will be alone...
And this fear makes me more reclusive which only isolated me and makes it harder to meet others.
These are the thoughts that come when I am the most comfortable in my bed, alone, and left to my thoughts and heartbeat.
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