Thursday, November 7, 2019

Transparency: nevermind

You know what? After typing that up last night I felt better.

I don’t think its actually necessary to have that talk with him... I really am happy with him and everything I said in the blogpost was true. I do think I’m starting the “falling” process. I’m not in love with him yet, but I can easily say that I adore biking boy.

What I had with Jimmie took years of repressed feelings and intense healing to occur. I can’t expect that level of intensity with Viking boy, I’m not worried about it. I’m happy and carefree. There is real potential there, I think.

No need to bring up the past unless it’s going to have a real affect on the current relationship. No need to stir up any uncomfortable and unnecessary feelings when there is no threat.

It’s odd.

I had a dream last night that I cheated on VB with Jimmie and then after reflecting on it, I realized how attached to him I am. How happy I get when I talk about him.

I’m excited to get to know more about him.
I’m excited to see how things go with him.
He’s very much in the present moment and I like how when I’m with him, so am I.

Do I still think of Jimmie when I hear most live songs? ... yes.
Do I think that will fade? Eventually, with more time.

Which is why I say Nevermind to my previous post. Unless I still feel the same way farther down the road, I don’t see why VB needs to know how far I was planning on going with Jimmie.

New cycle of life.
I need to embrace it.

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