Sunday, September 15, 2019

Couldn’t do it

An offer was made and I decided I would explore the idea of being with someone else physically...

I figured I’d start out slow.
Cuddles and kisses to start...

But as these things go it progressed. I was surprised at how quickly though and was caught a little off guard.

Everything was different. And when it came time to ... actually go through with it... I couldn’t.

Granted everything had felt nice but... there was no actual arousal.
I also just... don’t think I’m ready.
Kissing is one thing. Skin to skin cuddling is one thing.. he’ll even sexual touching is one thing.

I don’t know if I can have sex with someone else yet.
I crave the sexual energy that comes before hand. I love for foreplay. Kissing is one of my favorite pastimes...

But I don’t actually crave sex. The only reason I did it with Jimmie was because I loved him .. I don’t know if I can have sex without love.

I tried today and I just... couldn’t.

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