Miss him.

I miss him.

I’m laying in bed all alone and I just wish he was here, cuddled up behind me, and holding me.
I wish I could smell him.
I wish I could feel him.
I wish I had that sense of security he brought... even if it was false.

I miss talking to him.
I miss the random chit chat and bs we’d share.
I miss curling up and watching shows with him.
I miss the memes... he occasionally sends me some but I’ve made a point not to respond to them...

But tonight, as I was thinking about how much I could use a moral boost and how much I just miss him... a saw a cute bird video of a small bird bathing in a sink... and I wanted to send it to him.
I scrolled past it, since I’m not suppose to contact him at all, but my heart broke at the thought that he might not see it.

So I sent it.
Because I miss him and I know it will make him smile.

Gods I miss him. It’s not even been a week.
I know it will get easier... and when it doesn’t bother me at all, then I can actually reach back out.

I just miss him.