Sojourner; A Journey from Surviving to Living

As part of my therapy i am suppose to write my trauma narrative.
i've decided I am actually going to make it a publishable book.
I think it would be classified as a memoir.


Sojourner; A Journey from Surviving to Healing Living.

** I think I might start each chapter with a quote

1) Introduction

- Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn, presented once again. So, where you made a faulty choice before, you can now make a better one,and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought to you.” – A Course In Miracles

- who I am: a survivor (hating the word abuse; i am not a victim, I am a survivor...)

- what this is

- summary of my story and what happened

-Fiona

2) Triggered; the path to therapy

-“We don't heal in isolation, but in community.” S. Kelley Harrell, Gift of the Dreamtime - Reader's Companion

- realizing I needed help... bringing up fiona and then her not believing me 

- first time going to therapy (fiona changing the topic and deciding we were fine)

- panic attacks ---> reaching out for help

- Finding the right one --> perfect combination of relatable and clinical

- finding out i'm not crazy,  the process of diagnosis and realizing all the symptoms
- crisis plan and the importance of support network. (give examples)

3) Trauma; The dark cloud that follows

-“When the dark clouds accompany us with the furious concert of Thunder, then the liberating rain will finally wipe away the tears from our cheeks.”

― sir kristian goldmund aumann

- Dissociation and Fiona 

- in depth look into the symptoms and confusion with bipolar : Arousal levels/irritability, dark thoughts/thinking traps, paranoia, aversion, denial...how therapy helped me through it. 

- the gut punch: memory loss and confusion.. the panic and that doubt it brought.

4) Thunderstorm; worst memories

- “We were exiles from reality that summer. We were refugees from ourselves.” Chris Cleave, Little Bee

- what little I do remember..

 - the forced walk to regain control.. feeling trapped. 

- competing with the woman from her past, "you cried for me.. now i know you're serious i'll stay with you"

- her reaction when i came out as asexual "we'll work on it together...to .. open relationship or breakup"

- The incedent. 

5) Relationships; 

- “After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom.” Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

-how every single relationship after that was affected... I was a changed girl. 

- sexless relationship lead to emotional manipulation: L

- trying to date as a sex repulsed asexual

- J- from sex repulsed to sex positive... the start of physical trauma panic attacks and comfort of BDSM 

- D; current... the fear and comfort. 

6) Thank you

- "“Problems should be like speed bumps. You slow down just to get over it, but you don’t let it stop you from heading to your destination." -Sonya Parker

- what I have learned 

- words to other survivors (men and women)

-where I am now in my journey

-from healing... to living: goals and hopes for the future.