Tuesday, December 24, 2019

family

so Viking boy has children... a young son and a young niece.
I've gotten to meet them and the rest of his family and honestly... they're all wonderful. 
I really like his mom, she reminds me of mine. 

Still harbor a lot of fear about moving forward but as Queen Mab said... go into the unknown and manifest what i want. I really hope things last with him.. maybe its safe to love his family... maybe its not. 

I miss Jimmie's family so much. His grandma and his aunt.... I thought that they would be my family. I miss them so much. I miss them so much. Losing him also meant losing them. 

Do i dare get attached to VB's family? his kids? Granted none of them live in-state other than his grandparents... and they are just adorable.  So much fear... so much potential loss again. But i've been happy.  And boy oh boy these kids are cute... but goes to show I'm not ready to be a mom yet. I already don't have the energy. 

i'm going back tonight to spend christmas eve with them all, and tomorrow VB and the kiddos are coming with me to my mom's for presents and snacks. 

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