New Decade, New Me.

i'm going to start this new decade off right.

This has been a very hard year for me. I've gone through many changes and went through the growing pains. Now We are at the cusp and i'm feeling reflective.

i went from a job that i loved but was toxic to a job that is a little less than stimulating but is safe and healthy and stable.

I went from a relationship that i loved but was toxic to a time of self appreciation and independence, to a new relationship that is safe and healthy and stable.

I went from being confident to self conscious and i'm hoping that soon my self image will once again be healthy and stable.

I went from blaming myself for all the pain i've endured to realizing that i hold on to a lot of trauma, and i'm working through it in a way that is safe and healthy and stable.

I went from unstable ideas bouncing around as to what I wanted to do in life and school... to having a set plan of action and new avenues for career development opening up for when I graduate. (Aaron's grand dad can help me get a job in tourism in Wilmington or i'll either be a hotel event coordinator or a meeting coordinator)

Once cycle of life - one with love but with so much pain and discomfort - is ending and i pray that the new one is full of love, safety, health, and stability.

I've been getting signs that i am going to struggle with my physical health, but, that this year is going to be one that is a respite. The last 2-4 years has been emotional roller coaster after rollercoaster, with small breaths of ease between them. This year will be a start to a new cycle.
i'm starting it with a new day to day but optimistic mentality, a new loving relationship, a new stable job, a new sense of maturity, and hopefully soon a new wave of spirituality. I'm ready to continue this new pattern of discovery and growth.


I hope i grow more healthy, more stable, more in love with life, more in love with my new partner, and more in love with myself.