reconnect

i really want to reconnect.

reconnect with my spirit.
reconnect to my spiritual side.
reconnect with my PSG (primary spirit guide...aka guardian angel)

i want to talk to him.
i want to be able to have a conversation.
i would LOVE to channel him the way i did that one time in foods class.


i want to feel him again. I am so disconnected that i can't even tell when he is here anymore.

i am so sorry...
i know if i talk out loud to him he will hear.
i know he prefers it when i talk out loud to him rather than in my head...


i need to find some time when i am all alone, light some sage and meditate. then i'll just talk to him. i'll just talk. tell him all the things i'm sure he already knows...

• tell him about Mary and ask him what he thinks (he will sometimes tell me if he likes a person or not)
• tell him about how i'm stressing out about college
• tell him how much i miss home. how much i want him to send me there again... 
• tell him how much i miss him. even though i know i'm not alone.
• tel him how unsure i am. about everything. 
• ask him what to do.
• ask him if he is mad at me (i already know the answer is no, but it is reassuring when i get it directly from him)
• ask him if he is happy.
• ask him to help me reconnect...
• ask him to help me on some guided meditations. 

i need to find some guided meditations.... 

maybe if i'm REALLY lucky... while i meditate, if i lie down, i will feel at one with the earth like i did aa few years ago....

i feel lost. like i'm walking in a haze and i need him to shine a light in the fog so i can find him. 

i wonder... if i could talk to him through poetry the way i use to.... and if i read it to him, then maybe if i just....listen, i can get his responce and write it down...

we use to talk through writing. it was amazing. i miss it.

i miss him.
i miss myself.