Frustrated

So... I’m not sexually frustrated.

I’m frustrated and it involves lack of sex but it’s nothing to do with sex drive or feeling “horny” and unsatisfied.

I’m frustrated because sex provides a variety of benefits and I could really stand to use them.

I get it, bad mushroom trip fucked with his head and he lost his sense of sexual attraction and desire. As someone who also lacks sexual attraction: I get it.

But  I’m also tired of the insomniac episodes.
I could really stand to gain some of the happy neurotransmitter and I’m not going to list the other psychological benefits.
I’m so tense I feel like I’m made of hard lead.
I’m cramping.
I’m tired of having nightmares and unrestful sleep.
I’m tired of feeling disconnected from my boyfriend.
And frankly: I’m bored and sex is a decent way to pass the time.

Sex isn’t a primal need for me.
It’s a learned habit that I’ve grown accustomed to...and learning to break a habit is not always pleasant. Not to mention it’s frustrating to have something with a loved one and then out of nowhere it’s just gone. Feels like there’s just this hole between us.

It’s not his fault...
I’m just so very tired.

And frustrated.


And probably need sleeping pills.