okay so the first chapter of the book was on how without suffering there cannot be happiness, and without happiness there cannot be suffering. They are transient and in constant states of change. You can find both happiness and suffering in the same moment. It then proceeded to talk about the first step of “suffering well” which is mindfulness. Being in the moment.
I was happy with Jimmie, which is why it hurts that our relationship is over.
Except it’s not. Love doesn’t go away. Love, like all energy can change, but not disappear.
I still love Jimmie and our relationship isn’t over, it’s just changed. We are no longer romantic partners, and the love needs time to change.
That change is painful and causes suffering. The only person who really understands the pain is Jimmie himself, because he must go through a similar change. It makes sense to seek comfort with the person who understands that pain, even if doing so is painful in itself. Happiness and suffering together in the same act.
So how does one cope with the suffering? Mindfulness. As the oracle card said, one thing at a time with focus. Mindfulness is focusing on the present moment and only the present moment.
When I start to hurt and mourn the changing relationship I have with Jimmie, I need to just focus on that exact moment. Why does it hurt in that moment? I am with my dear friend. We are comforting one another, and finding comfort in each others presence. Do not think of the past, because it is gone. Our romantic relationship is gone. Do not think of the future, there is no point in wondering or hoping for another romantic relationship together - we cannot control the future, not can we know for certain what will come. There is only the present and at the present both Jimmie and I are going through a change.
And we can seek comfort with one another.
I will make it through the pain of transitioning by focusing on one moment at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment